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Financial split advice

2 replies

Startnew23 · 30/01/2024 02:02

Hi I know the best option will be to get a solicitors advice and I plan to call one in the morning but thought I might pop in here and get some advice of possibilities for the equity split. In a nutshell, I left my husband in August after 18 years. He a gas lighting narcissist. We have 2 boys 11 and 15. An offer came through on the house today, and looks like 100k equity. We owe my dad around 25k this is mainly when he helped us out when H lost his job (happens often). He’s now saying it was “ your choice to borrow it so it should come out of your half of the money”. I earn 27k, at 52 yo I can only get a 17y mortgage and I’ve had some quick advice from an advisor that said I could only borrow 90k, that won’t by me a garage let alone a 3 bed house for me and my boys. He on the other hand earns 60k and can get a mortgage for 250k. He said he wants 50% of the equity and I need to be ‘fair’ as after having the kids I went part time so didn’t contribute as much as him. ( I still paid all the bills, shopping and every family member’s birthday/xmas gifts for 14 years on both sides!) I also had a house when we met, he had nothing so it was my money that provided the deposit on our next home. I think there will be around 60k after everything has been paid off. If he had 20k he would have a 10% deposit and get a 200/220k decent 3 bed house. If I had the other 40k I could possibly get, at best a small terraced house, my dad would happily relend me some money to top it up to 160k that would just about get me and the boys something ok not brilliants but I could make it a home. Anything less and I’ll be forced to go into renting which I don’t really want to do. Apparently, I’m totally unfair and fleecing him, he’s said it’s not his fault I have a shit paid job and he earns more and he can have the boys live with him as he can afford to get a house! Over my dead body and he knows that’s a good stick to beat me with and he’s trying to upset me at the thought ( it works unfortunately). Anyone got any advice, experience on what a solicitor would say or how equity is divid up? Thanks

OP posts:
Nearlythere80 · 30/01/2024 02:45

The start position will be 50:50 equity split, there has to be very good reason and agreement for anything else. The repayment of the money loaned from your dad will be contentious unless anything in writing. Unless you share childcare 50:50 you'll get maintenance. After a long marriage in which you have limited your earnings to support the family unit you may be able to make an argument for spousal maintenance and your solicitor will have to advise you there

ElevenSeven · 30/01/2024 04:55

50/50 will be the general starting point.

Is the debt to your DF in writing?

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