Ex got his brother to look for me on dating apps

[Izzie902]

I met with my ex boyfriend today, to talk about maybe getting back together.
He had asked me a couple of weeks ago if I had met anyone yet,or on dating websites and I said no.

Today he asks me if I'm on any dating apps again,I told him yes I was, he says I knew you were because I got my brother to make an account to look for you. was pretty shocked

Am I crazy for thinking thats really weird?

Me and his brother don't live in the same town so he would have put a fake town, and my town is huge so I'm surprised he found me on it. He sent my ex screenshots.

My friend thinks maybe he himself was on the app and came across me, but didn't want to say he was on it too 😂

He said he just wanted to check if I had moved on quickly or not.

Yeah that is really odd. Reg flag to me!

Yes it is.. but I'd say the bigger issue is why are you engaging with and considering getting back with such a pathetic toss pot!

You're well rid, and worth better than this absolute tool!

Why are you trying to get back with this guy, he sounds awful. Surely you broke up for a good reason, and now he's being stalkerish.

Just let him go and move on.

I would think the same as your friend, it would be a lot of hassle for his brother to do that. I think you're more crazy to think about getting back with a stalkerish ex

Yes it’s creepy, stalkerish and controlling but it’s weird that’s you’re giving this fuckwit the time of day and entertaining going back.

You’re well rid. Keep it that way

Your ex is a creep and is testing you even not being together. I wouldn't go back or give him more chances.

You broke up with this pathetic loser for a reason. Don't be dumb enough to take him back.

If this isn't a sign that you shouldn't be getting back with this man then I don't know what is!

He's just shown you a great reason not to get back with him.

Well I wouldn’t be considering getting back together again after that
big red flag

Yeah I won't be now, I didn't know until today. Didn't know of I was overreacting. Made me feel a bit weird

Not surprising - he's just told you (after trying to trap you) that he's stalking you.

He seemed to think it was perfectly normal. I told him I was upset and he said you'll be okay

I would trust your instinct OP, just block him and move on.

All 3 of you should be out in the wild looking for new partners none of this messaging and spying and social media crap.

Hows the virtual dating working out?

I don't think that it's that weird at all tbh.

Why did you break up in the first place?

He obviously realises he's lost you, and he's been curious to see if your looking to date. Rather than be open with you to tell you, look I stupidly got my brother to go on dating site etc, he asked you first to see if you'd tell him, and good for you for saying you have been. He tried to catch you out like it was a crime. He's jealous of you moving on. But he also could be on the dating site and saw you, and he's called your bluff to see if you'd say anything about him being on the dating site. Maybe his brother didn't sign up at all. I know its hard, but you'll get there, take some time out for yourself and enjoy being single.

I don’t think it’s odd but that’s because I’ve heard of women doing this quite a few times and even asking strangers to make profiles to look for their ex! (On fb groups I’m in) so yes it does happen

And that goes on the list of reasons not to get back together with this dimwit.

Who sets the rules about how strongly you should react to things? You can't 'over' react unless there's a 'correct' level of reaction, right? So who decides what's correct?

Don't waste more time with him. No getting back together and no socialising whatsoever.

I don’t think it’s weird at all. It shows he’s still interested. Girls do this all the time. He may have thought I won’t bother her if she’s moved on. He asked if you were on them, you told the truth and said yes, he also told the truth and said ‘I know’ I got brother to check. He’s not lied. He’s not stalked you, you’re on an open site.

If a female posted on here that she was in love with her ex so got her best mate to see if he was dating online, no one would say ‘ooooh red flag!’

If a female posted on here that she was in love with her ex so got her best mate to see if he was dating online, no one would say ‘ooooh red flag!

Completely disagree. I’d say exactly the same, male or female, it’s a bit creepy and stalkerish. And I very much doubt I’d be alone.

I’ve seen it suggested on MN to make a fake profile and check dating apps 😂

Not for exes though ; to see if current partners are cheating - when there is something suggesting they're cheating.