When did you start dating again?

[howtocope]

Separated for a year, started divorce this month. When is it OK to try dating?

I don't want a relationship but would like some companionship and maybe sex. In my 50s, married for three decades, unsatisfying sex life the whole time. Considering OLD, but just not sure.

Meh, I did a couple of OLD after the ex - one turned out to have a foot fetish and the other wanted me to pee on him, which he told me by the end of our 2hr date. Been happily single ever since and zero desire for male drama at all!

Nearly a year after marriage ended. Joined old dated someone for about 3 months. Who was all I needed to get myself used to it and him tbh. Started dating again a few months after that ended. I have recently come off the app as it’s a lot of pen pals. But at an early stage with someone else.

@Aaaalrightythen

Oh God ! 😂😂😂 That's enough to put me off, right there.

Yes, I feel like I need to get used to dating. Practice almost. I'd like a proper relationship eventually, but definitely not for a long while. I'd just like to rebuild my confidence, give myself something else to think about besides work, kids and this divorce process.

When you want? I haven’t dated in 7 years at all and I’m only 35 🤷‍♀️

Started dating someone a year after my 23 year relationship ended and it was biggest mistake of my life.

Now been single and happy for 4 years. Tried OLD last year but after a few mediocre dates, endless messages from sexpests, unsolicited males photos, wanking over the phone (him not me) and the only guy I actually really clicked with having ED, I gave up and realised I prefer being single to dealing with men 🤣

I waited just over a year after my 20 year relationship ended. I get what you mean about wanting to practice as such, I felt the same.

I waited until I felt ok and had taken some time to heal and be by myself. It did help me to accept that my relationship was over and boosted my self esteem to have men interested in me again. I've had quite a bit of fun but probably more heartache and mind games.

I feel like I'm well and truly over my ex but struggling as a result of some of the dating experiences I've had. So I guess I've swapped one set of problems for another.

Can be a good distraction if that's what you want, I'd say just be careful with your heart though. The first new relationship (and its subsequent end if that happens) after a divorce/major break up can hit really bloody hard.

I ended my marriage but lived with ex for 8 months because he wouldn't agree to my divorce reasons (I kept them light, could have been a lot worse). As soon as the no fault divorce came in I filed and he finally moved out shortly after. Signed up for online dating a few months later just to dip my toe in and to see how bad the situation really was 😅 went on a couple of dates which was fun. The 4th guy I went on a date with has been my boyfriend for the last 18 months. I was fully expecting to be unsuccessfully dating for ages before buying all the cats and be happily single forever. My experience of OLD has been OK really. Met a few interesting people who were just not for me but perfectly nice and decent. And then my BF who makes me incredibly happy. So decent men do exist on OLD platforms.
Sounds like you are ready to give it a go. There's a dating thread you may want to join. I found that quite useful when I dipped my toe into OLD. Have fun 😁

Quoting myself as too late to edit *unsolicited naked photos

I went OLD after 10 months of separating after a 20 year marriage.

Far far too soon. I met a couple of nice people but one bloke was wanking over the phone. I found it really rattled me.

I don't know if I will try it again. It's better to be single for me for now.

usually just see as and when if i meet a person and we seem to connect so to speak and build the friendship then see if it can progress to the next level so to speak

I tried OLD at first 2 months after I separated from my ex who I'd been married to for 12 years.

I started it because my friends encouraged me saying that harmless flirting would make me feel better and improve my self esteem. I got no response whatsoever. Ex found me on it and wasn't happy.

Fast forward 2 years and I met someone in real life who I have a massive crush on but don't have the guts to do anything about. So I started OLD again as a distraction and there isn't anyone on it immediately remotely interested in which is making me think perhaps I should have plucked up the courage to do something about the one I like. I might delete the app again but it's strange it almost feels like it's the same faces from 2 years ago even though its a different site.

I had a bloke do that and it wasn’t even a sex talk call, we were having a normal conversation and he started talking wanking 🤢
Did his name start with J?

My Mum went on OLD when she was 50. I was in my 20s and horrified 🤣

She's still with him 20 years later.

Apart from a couple of flings I've been single for 12 years. I honestly can't be arsed, but I'm hoping you are like my Mum! Good luck!

Two years after divorce. One or two half hearted dates were set up for me by friends.
Then after another year or so I dated a woman who was a friend of a friend.
I was 44 at separation and 2 DC leaving school.

I’ve been single 4 months after a 3-year relationship broke down. I’m on an app but I can’t seem to date this time round.

Men seem to be quite content with endless chat / a pen pal situation than actually want to meet me in person 🤷‍♀️

I had a few ONSs whilst separated within the first year but wasn’t wanting to date or be in a relationship… met a man at a family celebration, and married him within the year 🤣 18 months after separating.

I've been separated over year and started OLD in October.
It's quite ruthless tbh. It took me a few months to realise that half the guys aren't actually interested at all.
I would get hurt that people suddenly stopped responding, yet also didn't unmatch. It was a tough time.
But I definitely have a much more relaxed approach to it now. If the they stop messaging then it's then their loss.

1 month after my 20 year marriage ended, it was on the rocks for years so felt right

About a year and a half after separating from my exh. Like you, I was definitely not looking for a LTR: I wanted some fun, and to try out some different men as I hadn't done that before marriage. I found that attitude was useful on OLD as I didn't take it seriously so didn't worry about rejection or weirdos. Got multiple real life dates within a week as I was happy to meet anyone who sounded a bit of a laugh. Didn't come across any phone wankers or kinks. Went out with a lovebomber for a while, but as I wasn't taking it seriously anyway it just felt like a bit of fun and was easy to end.
The second good-time guy who passed the three-date mark turned out to have more depth to him after all and we've been together 7 years now; still having a good time :)

I started 2.5 years after finally ending my 30 year marriage - up until then it hadn’t crossed my mind to have anything to do with another man! I used OLD basically just to get my hand in again as it were - I slept with six men in a year, they were all really good at sex, and really built up my confidence. I didn’t expect or even want another serious relationship but met my DP 5 years ago on a swingers site, no less. He’s so lovely. And extremely good at sex!

Good on you 😁👍 I am thinking about doing the same thing after my 18 year relationship ended after she had an affair but don't know how to go about it?

You will be in very very high demand. Don't over think it just make a profile and go on some dates.

Don't say you're wanting 'just sex' as you can attract some weirdos.

Say short term /fun casual dates.