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Relationships

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Co parenting and new relationships

2 replies

RunnerGirl123 · 29/01/2024 09:43

I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable.

Background for context. My ex and I separated Nov 2022 because he’d previously been meeting another woman (as a friend) behind my back and lying about it. First in September 2021 when we had a 6 week old newborn, and then again in February 2022. We decided to keep trying to make things work but it was obvious he had feeling for her and the trust was gone so we separated. He then started dating her.

It became obvious he was spending time with her when our daughter was in his care. I have asked to meet her several times over the last year. Not to confront her or anything but to know who my daughter is spending time with. He continually tells me they’re not seeing each other anymore (even so much as to ask if I’d consider sleeping with him casually at some point 🙄) but never mentions when the relationship is back on.

My daughter is 2 and so is starting to talk about his girlfriend. It’s difficult for me because I know so little about her, i wouldn’t even know her if I bumped into her in the street.

Their on again, off again relationship worries me, because my little one could become attached only to lose out if they were to decide to separate fully. And I feel if he’s not communicating when they’re on or off again, I’m going to struggle to guide my little one through her questions and feelings as she gets older and her understanding of relationships grow.

Am I being unreasonable here? I don’t mind him being in a new relationship, and he can obviously spend time with both of them if he chooses, but I’m not sure he’s considered this side of the co parenting and the implications it could have on our little one.

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 29/01/2024 18:42

I understand it's difficult, especially when your daughter is so little, but really I think he has the right to introduce his daughter to his new partner (it sounds like he has been with this woman for a while), and you don't really have the right to meet her or anything like that, though obviously if you were able to form a positive relationship with her that might benefit your daughter in the future....

Where I think he is REALLY in the wrong is asking you for casual sex when he is clearly seeing somebody else! What an idiot! Also not sure why he can't be honest about seeing her - do you think he fears you will be upset with him about it?

Either way it does sound good news you are no longer with him!

jsku · 29/01/2024 19:00

It must be difficult for you given how your relationship ended.
Don’t worry about your DD - she is so very young atm and she does not know how relationships work. So if GF is there some time, but not the other - she won’t be questioning it.
By the time your Dd is older to wonder - you Ex would figure out what his relationship is.

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