Anonymous note through door…

[FreeRider]

Background - I live in a block of four flats, I’m on the upper floor. There is a bin cupboard, with one grey bin each for general rubbish, and one large blue and one large brown bin for recycling.

Since I moved into this flat 4 years ago I have developed a slipped disc. I’m in a lot of pain with it and have been having groceries etc delivered to my flat…so have a lot of packaging for recycling, mainly in the blue bin ( paper). Some of it is awkward for me to get down the stairs, due to size, even when collapsed. I’ve always been careful not to completely fill the bin in one go - even though it’s always nearly empty whenever I go to it. I live on my own, my partner of 15 years works away but is here regularly.

Today I was sat talking to my partner in the living room when I hear noise at my front door. My partner goes to see if someone is there, and sees a man going down the stairs, says hello and asks if he wanted us…he mutters something about ‘note through the door’

The note said ‘ Stop putting your rubbish outside my door. You are lazy, always getting takeaways. My neighbours are all fed up with you’ It was unsigned.

Unfortunately my partner didn’t see what flat downstairs he went into (if he did). My partner has only rarely seen either of the two men who live downstairs and only got a very quick glimpse, so could only give a very limited description. He went to check my bin…and someone has taken all the recycling out of the blue bin, put it in black bin bags and dumped it by my grey bin!

I'm really upset. We even had trouble translating the note, it was so badly spelt and written. Doesn’t make any sense, I’ve never left rubbish outside anyone’s door. Judgemental, too. I think (99%certain) it is the guy who lives closest to the front door..he’s an alcoholic who has constantly had the Police and ambulances out due to fighting (sometimes physical) with a neighbour in another block…the Police came to talk to me about it and said he has been causing trouble with all the neighbours in surrounding downstairs flats for years. I have always been polite when I’ve encountered him so I have zero idea why he has done this.

I was moved into this flat after my last neighbour had a psychotic break, decided I was the cause of all his problems and started threatening me and anyone who came into the building. He urinated regularly on my front door and ended up threatening to kill me, my two cats and my partner. The HA took him to court and got an 4 year injunction against him, and rehomed me. It was the worst 6 months of my life, I ended up in hospital with chest pains due to the stress.

The note today has bought all that back up in my mind again.

@Seaoftroubles I don't think posting a note anonymously, to a disabled woman you know lives on her own most of the time, saying she is 'lazy' and has 'takeaways all the time' and 'all my neighbours are fed up with you' is polite....it's judgemental as fuck, ignorant, and most of all cowardly. He didn't even have the guts to say anything to my partner when he opened the door.

What makes it worse is I helped him once when he was locked out of the building, and told him that I was physically disabled - he had asked why I had a walking stick!

I can only assume you didn’t read the OP properly if you genuinely think that writing a drunk anonymous note accusing a disabled woman of fly-tipping, being ‘lazy’ and telling her her neighbours are all sick of her is ‘polite’.

@kiwiane No pizza boxes. I don't eat pizza, too many carbs. I don't live with my partner full time, he works 200 miles away.

I believe because you are disabled the council will collect your rubbish from your door if you are not able to do this.Please ask.

@Aubree17 what did he say that sounded psychotic?

@FreeRider l see, well if he knew your situation and that you were disabled that is indeed an ignorant comment. Sorry OP, l think it would be best to speak to him and put him right.

@MumblesParty
He posted a letter through the door instead of discussing it with the OP. He then emptied out a recycling bin that wasn't even full and left it dumped for no good reason - op pointed out the bin is never full.
He has previous with other neighbours that have involved police.
Maybe psychotic isn't the right word but hes definitely someone I'd want to avoid!

Update: Both grey and blue bins were emptied yesterday...I looked out of my kitchen window this morning and can see that my grey bin is full of black bin bags. Partner went down to have a look...it's definitely not my rubbish, someone has obviously been having a spring clean and it was full of things like clothes, etc. Partner removed the bags from my bin and has now locked my bin back in the bin cupboard (although we were told by the council a year ago to stop using it as the fire brigade inspector said it was a risk).

This way we will find out if it is definitely someone in my building as only the 4 of us living here have keys to the bin cupboard (gas meters are also in it).

I cannot believe I'm having to deal with this level of pettiness!

@FreeRider I just wanted to say that I also live in a HA flat (small block of 6 flats) and I feel your frustrations!

Not so much with bin issues, but I do have a neighbour who likes to have a go at people about parking. Mainly visitors. Because he thinks he’s ‘entitled’ to a parking space. He honestly believes one of the 7 spaces we have between over 30 flats, belongs to him. And kicks off at people when he can’t get a space. Spends most of his time smoking weed. The HO’s don’t even want to deal with him because he’s so aggressive (all mouth).

The Ring doorbells are very useful! My HA got me one after the previous neighbour I had below me, threatened me and others in the block (this was my compensation for them agreeing to let her stay for another 6 months when she was taken to court for eviction. Fortunately she fucked off after another 2 months).

At least with the doorbell you can gather any evidence if he comes to your door again and use it to show the HA, as if he continues to post notes through your door etc then it could be looked at as some form of harassment.

I’d be inclined to make diary notes of any drunken incidents also, when the ambulance come to your door when he’s called them etc. Because to me it sounds like he should really be in some kind of supported housing, especially if he keeps threatening to harm himself and calling the emergency services for it. If the HA ever do try for eviction, or look to move him, any evidence you can provide could help them.

…maybe he reads Mumsnet…the advice on here, quite often is ‘Could you pop an anonymous note through their door?’ Seeing as how no-one on here opens their doors.

I’m in a lot of pain with it and have been having groceries etc delivered to my flat…so have a lot of packaging for recycling

Does having online grocery shops mean you have more recycling?

Are you using more than 1/4 of the the bin space? Can you request more bins/use black sacks/go to the tip?

@Shinyandnew1 If you use Amazon for groceries you can sometimes have one item in a large brown bag…their over packaging is ridiculous. Unfortunately they also have the largest choice, cheaper delivery and more delivery slots.

No, the blue bin is huge so I never use more than a third of it. Most times when I go to the bin it is empty. I always wait until the day before pick up, as well.

@tuvamoodyson If they are a vulnerable disabled woman living on their own I can understand the appeal of an anonymous note…but if this was left by the person I think it was, I’ve answered the door to him and had conversations with him more times than with any of my other 3 neighbours. What he did was cowardly. I hope he got the shock of his life when my partner opened the door!

@browneyes77 Thanks for the understanding… I am going to keep a record going forward, I am also going to log what happened on Sunday with the HA.

On top of my physical health problems I was diagnosed with C-PTSD 5 years ago and Agoraphobia last year. So as you can imagine this has caused a massive dip in my already poor mental health. People who make assumptions like ‘laziness’ when there is in fact hidden disabilities have no comprehension of the damage they do.

If you use Amazon for groceries you can sometimes have one item in a large brown bag

That should fold down to nothing, shouldn’t it? With cardboard boxes, we can fold them flat and put them out separately in my council so they aren’t clogging up the bins.

@Shinyandnew1 It does, and that’s exactly what I do with all of the recycling. Unfortunately with my council if it’s not in a bin it isn’t getting collected. Whoever is dumping rubbish has now moved on to filling all the grey bins with their rubbish the moment they are empty. Hence why I’ve now had to go back to locking mine away, even though we’ve been told by the HA not to.

.

Aw OP don't let that awful man spoil your week, he is the horrible person here, not you. You sound extremely thoughtful, not taking the piss at all.

Now on to the next issue of who is filling up the grey bins.....

Could you get a gravity lock for your grey bin?

My DD had a similar problem with someone using her bin, she to took the crap out and installed a bin lock. Spoke to a couple of neighbours who had had the same problem.

Turned out to be the family downstairs who were charged with fly tipping as they had been doing it to everyone and just left their crap on the street.....with their name and address in it!

And dont ask me how bin locks work, think she has a key but it opens automatically when it is turned complete upside down on the bin lorry. Here the biggest issue with bins is the asshole up the road who keeps leaving his out and it ending up in the road in high winds. Well until it went right over, landing on the bonnet of his expensive car, which frankly was fucking hilarious!

Keep the note somewhere you don't have to keep looking at it, just in case you get anymore and need to report whoever did it. Carry on as you are and try and focus on other things. You have a right to feel safe. Bloody arsehole single weirdo men again!