Was the reason he moved on my fault?

[Lilllypad11]

I just feel like all I did was wrong. Everything was my fault. The moaning, complaining, anger etc. it made him want to find something better because I wasn’t good enough to him when all he did was be good to me. Like for example: One time he went on Omegle and I felt I found it hard to trust so I handed him the promise ring he gave me and said I’ll take it back when I feel I’m able to trust more. He then cried. I told him off when he stood on the back of my shoe and it broke. He then said it wasn’t his fault it was the shoe He never used to tidy up and one time I got fed up of moving all his stuff and he said I grew up in an ocd environment and he didn’t One time I lost a lip liner and had VERY bad PMS and I’m also adhd so I had a huge moan about it and asked him to call the cab company. He got really angry and said these arguments ruin the night His sister never introduced me out of a group of people. I was stood next to him. I said at the end of the night it was rude. He told me to pack my bags and leave Again PMS time I lost a skirt that was expensive before a night out for his mates birthday and I also had Covid but still went to the night out. I lost the skirt so started crying. But that’s not what upset me. It was that he didn’t tell me they were pooling money for a group gift and he left me out. Finally, I gave him my spot cream and he lost it somewhere, this was super expensive and I got annoyed. I asked him to check his car and look around. I was so upset it was lost because it cost $50 a go. He refused that he lost it and said I must have left it there but I know I didn’t. I refused to eat dinner with him as I knew it wasn’t my fault. In the end, he found it 2 weeks later. No sorry. Just “it was under my bed” I supported him while he trained abroad. I always accommodated for his timing. I did everything I could. I just can’t help but feel mad he’s with someone new and never ever tried to understand me after 6 years.

i blame myself all the time. I just fear all I did was ruin us. Yes I am having therapy. I’m working on myself. But why could he never tell me there was someone else. Just why.

It just sounds like you weren’t compatible. Nothing else to it. He’s moved on hoping to find someone better suited, and you should do the same.

Totally fine to move on. But in the break up. He refused to admit there was anyone else. Even though I had that overbearing guy feeling there was.

Gut**

It sounds like you didn't get on well so you broke up. He's allowed to move on once you're not in a relationship any more.

To be honest I probably wouldn't last long in a relationship with someone who kicked off at me because she'd lost her lipstick or skirt either!

To be blunt, yes. Sounds like you didn't like him very much, and you didn't make each other happy. Relationship ends, you both move on. That's how it works

Even reading that is exhausting. My question is why you stick out a relationship you seem to have experienced as a series of lost skirts, broken shoes, mislaid spot cream, lack of introductions, omissions from group gifts etc for six years??? And you supported him (financially?) while he trained abroad? Why?

Sorry read the title wrong. It's no one's 'fault' that someone moves on. That's a natural & healthy thing for him to do when leaving a relationship that wasn't working. I answered yes to you contributing to the breakdown of the relationship.

I’ll make no comment about the rights and wrongs of relationship jumping if that’s what he did (see every other page on MN for full details), but the fact of the matter is everyone has a right to end a relationship and move on. You sound like you had a completely unhealthy relationship dynamic. If he did have someone else and didn’t admit it, so what? The relationship was at an end (by the sounds of it 5 years too late), and given how angry you seemed to be in the relationship, he probably didn’t have the time, energy or inclination to have you exploding at him anymore than necessary.
Time to move on. You owe each other nothing anymore and the relationship (including the break up) is done and dusted.

I was exhausted because after 6 years there was no movement. No signs of commitment nothing. We just had nothing happening and he has done this before so I saw the pattern emerge.

Unfortunately I feel the chances of him cheating were pretty high. A female was constantly messaging him when we were away. He used to go on Omegle chat lines and also would frequent strip clubs with his friends and said he would just sit and have a drink there because they wanted to go. A lot of things made me really insecure in the relationship. He told me he visited the club with 3 women the night before we were going away on holiday. And his behaviour was really off the next day. He just seemed distant.

Ok, well next time your boyfriend goes on Omegle (never heard of it, assume it's a dating site?) you dump him. Immediately.

Next time your boyfriend wants to train abroad you wave him off and don't give him any money.

Next time your boyfriend tells you to pack your bags because you call his sister rude, do so and don't go back.

Next time your boyfriend tells you you're mentally ill just because you want things tidy, dump him.

Next time you've been with someone two years and it isn't going anywhere, dump him.

(and note: if you want any kids, you can't afford to waste time)