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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reoccurring dreams of my ex.

2 replies

Blackteaonesweetener · 28/01/2024 06:19

My ex and I broke up 8 years ago, the relationship and our connection was so strong - we wanted different things, which led to great tension. I wanted to establish myself in my career and he in his, and we both worked together to achieve our goals (me supporting him moreso), but ultimately I wanted children.

We ended, because it was something he couldn't see himself doing in the future, he wasn't against children, but was more goal orientated to his vocation. We were both heartbroken.

I reconnected with an old friend who dreamt of having his own children and 8 years later we have three children and are married. I changed my career so I could be more 'present' for my children. I got what I wanted! My marriage is positive, consistent and the children are the focus of everything. My DH is fairly dependable, safe and such an amazing and dedicated father, but the romance is dead.
The last time we had sex, I got pregnant with my 5 month old. Yep. We're just too tired and co-sleeping makes any intimacy difficult [side note: we didn't manage a kiss today]...

Now for the last 8 years I can say that I dream about my ex at least weekly, I'm not sure if I ever fully-moved on. I'm not sure he has either as he hasn't been in a long-term relationship since. I often wonder about that.
My ex and I are still friends (innocent interacting on socials) and we have both achieved what we wanted and I'm so proud of him. I would never tell him how I feel, it would cause to much damage, but in my dreams I do.

I don't know where I am going with this, I just want to know if anyone has overcome anything like this?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 28/01/2024 07:04

You need to block him on socials and work on your marriage.
Touch your DH when you pass him, kiss him at least once today. You can have sex on the couch, no need to be in the bed.

annaT2122 · 28/01/2024 08:08

DustyLee123 · 28/01/2024 07:04

You need to block him on socials and work on your marriage.
Touch your DH when you pass him, kiss him at least once today. You can have sex on the couch, no need to be in the bed.

@DustyLee123 Agree with the first bit, and that social media is feeding these desires. Definitely she needs to make more effort, and hopefully her OH will recipcirate. But sex on the couch? Very risky!

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