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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ignorence or just "a man that doesn't think like us"?

18 replies

JackSplat · 20/03/2008 12:20

My partner is so ignorent its like he doesnt think about anyone but himself.
We do not live together but I'm starting to wonder if we should break up completely.

Its just little things like he'll come over and sit on the sofa sprawling across it taking up the entire thing. If I walk over to the sofa and make it obvious that I want to sit down (without actually saying it) he'll just look at me and carry on watching TV. I have to actually ask him to move but surely I shouldn't have to? especially in my own house? In contrast, the other night I was laying on my sofa with belly ache and he came in, walked over to the sofa and said "budge"

There's other stuff too. We went to chippy last weekend and DH came in with the bag of fish and chips (us two and the kids) and he put the bag on the side and I said to him I needed to sort the car out and would be about 2 minutes. So he fished through the bag, got his own stuff out and when I came back in he was sat there halfway through his dinner! All our stuff was still in the bag in the kitchen! surely its not too much to expect him to have the sense to serve everyones stuff rather than just getting his own out??

Another one was when we were in subway. We were paying seperately (I was buying mine and the kids and he was buying his own because he eats so bloody much his alone comes to over £10). Anyway I was before him in the queue, the woman looked at me and asked me what I wanted so DP butted in with his order so the woman went off to prepare his stuff then moved on to the bloke behind him assuming that I didn't want anything! DP realised what he'd done afterwards and aplogised but surely he should have realised BEFORE he'd done it?

The final example...we were all in the car, long journey to London so we'd set off early and put a load of sandwiches and crisps in the boot so we didn't have to stop at cafes. Anyway half way there we were all hungry so DP stopped at a service station and said "lets get something to eat" so I said "you sort the sandwiches out whilst I take the kids to the toilet" so I left the car, came back 5 minutes later to see him ploughing through his sandwich and crisps with one of my kids still sat in the car hungry. I said "where's ours?" and so he looked embarrassed and said "oh...erm, in the boot still"

So is it just that "men dont think like us" or is he an ignorent twat?

OP posts:
swiftyknickers · 20/03/2008 12:23

he's an ignorant twat-sounds obsessed with food!!!

ratbunny · 20/03/2008 12:26

sounds very selfish to me
has he always been like this?

poshwellies · 20/03/2008 12:28

ignorant twat

ZZMum · 20/03/2008 12:32

Good points of him are?

Thefearlessfreak · 20/03/2008 12:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

boudoiricca · 20/03/2008 12:32

selfish ignorant rude twat.

TheAntiFlounce · 20/03/2008 12:34

selfish, and seems entirely too centred around food

micegg · 20/03/2008 15:18

Sounds selfish to me. But do you want to be with him? You dont mention any positive points (unless I missed them) which suggests you cant see past the bad points. Or perhaps you dont want to as you want rid?

Anna8888 · 20/03/2008 15:20

He sounds incredibly selfish.

No, all men are not like that.

mazzystar · 20/03/2008 15:24

I take it he is childless himself? Has maybe only previously lived with his mother?

Does he have any redeeming features?

hecate · 20/03/2008 15:25

Selfish. Really selfish. It's like you don't occur to him iyswim. So uncaring. It's sad.

Notyummy · 20/03/2008 15:26

If that is a fair representation of how he behaves, WHY are you with him?? He is not even looking after your kids well, and you should certainly not be treated in that manner.

Carmenere · 20/03/2008 15:27

Does he live with his parents and spend all his money on X-box things?

ALMummy · 20/03/2008 16:07

What a complete pig. Get Rid.

jesuswhatnext · 20/03/2008 16:27

does he shave yet?

MuthaHubbard · 20/03/2008 16:27

Incredibily selfish pig of a child. He knows exactly what he's doing when he just sorts himself out and not the kids. Knob.

I would get rid.

wooga · 20/03/2008 17:47

He sounds very much like my exh.
I finished with him as he was so selfish and I had enough of giving him more chances.
It doesn't make much difference not having him at home (except less mess) which only goes to show how little he did around here.
I felt alone when I was with him and couldn't rely on him in a crisis-he never wanted to have grown up responsibilities and has settled into his old life at his mum's with ease-only has to worry about his xbox most of the time now,which seems to suit him fine.
He loves our dcs but not much good at grown up, thinking of others stuff.

LittleBella · 20/03/2008 17:52

He's a complete savage

How can you bear it?

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