So I’ve got a situation, Ive (23) been with my boyfriend (29) almost 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and another baby on the way, due in July.
Throughout the relationship I’ve always had the same job and I’m working very hard to progress in this, however my partner has had multiple jobs, he’s always managed to get another job fairly quickly after losing the last one but still he must have had atleast 10 different jobs since being together. He lost his last job in December and has only had ad hoc work since. Also to mention he owes me almost £3,000, as I’ve always had savings (which I’ve saved myself) and us moving into our own place I’ve spent a fair bit of money which he always said he’ll pay back and he was paying it back when he was continuously working.
This is where I’m a bit stuck, he owes me this money but has booked a rave with his mates and is getting annoyed with me because with the situation we’re in I don’t think he should be going, as he owes me so much and also has borrowed money to other people recently for a car. I think he should just wait until he’s in a better position financially. All the ad hoc work he’s doing, he’s not paying me anything from it as he ‘needs to save money for the rave’ yet I’m still skinting myself out because I’m having to still pay our bills as everything is in my name so I don’t want to get into debt and I’m getting nothing back towards this at the minute. Every-time I bring this up to him he goes mad at me calling me controlling and I just need some advice really on what I should do.
Another thing is, he tends to drink a lot. Every night he ends up drunk, even when he promises me he won’t drink, every little last bit of his money also goes towards this and he ends up being horrible to me when he is drunk. I ask him to reduce the amount he drinks, for our lives, our kids lives and for his own health but then again he tells me he’s sick of me telling him what to do.
Lastly, like I mentioned I’m working a lot at the minute but yet I’m still expected to come home, do our daughters dinner, do her bedtime routine and then do our dinner, I don’t get to sit down until gone 8pm every night, also to mention I’m suffering a lot this pregnancy with something called hyperemesis so I’m really unwell too, if I ask him to cook dinner I just get back the response ‘I can’t cook’ so if I don’t do it we just won’t eat.
I really need some advice/support as my boyfriend keeps telling me that I’m ’nagging at him’ and ‘ruining his mental health’ and I’m the reason his mental health is so bad, but I genuinely feel like I’m all alone at the minute and I’m suffering with my mental health too and all of this on top of everything in the pregnancy is super stressing me out.