Background: my sister had an awful relationship with her ex husband who she met young, married and had 2 daughters with. He cheated on her for years before she finally had enough and left but her self esteem was in tatters.
She met a younger, good looking guy a few years later. She was so terrified he'd leave her she was very controlling, going so far to stop female relatives apart from me and my mum visiting them. A few times they broke up because she was controlling. But we also noticed that he is very lazy and she does everything for him and also often he doesn't work and seems to just live off her.
18 months ago he left her for another woman from another country. My sister was in pieces and extremely upset. Anyway 6 months later he turns up again, declares he made a mistake and surprise proposes to my sister with flowers and a ring. She was delighted and took him back. We were cautiously supportive.
During the last year he's back to his odd jobs, living off my sister and seems to have made some financial decisions which have put them in dire straights.
Suddenly it comes out through gossip and then confirmation that my sister's partner fathered a child with the woman from another country and then abandoned her while pregnant. My sister knew this but kept it a secret from us. Apparently he is in contact with this other woman but my sister doesn't want him to meet his child and is restricting his access to the child, which I think he goes along with because he needs my sister financially.
Am I wrong to think this guy is a piece of dirt and my sister needs to realise this? I'm really worried about my neices.
But also it's wrong of my sister to be restricting his access to his child - if she stays with him he should be doing the right thing?
Do you think I should speak to her about either aspect or it's pointless?