Sorry I can't see you on Thursday because ....

[PaperwhiteTheFriendlyGhost]

... there's nobody to have the dogs. Four golden retrievers. How bad is this? Nobody can have a relationship with Bob because he can't leave the dogs.

I don't have any animals so should golden retrievers always be watched?

I would not leave 4 golden retrievers alone for an evening. They would empty the fridge, invite all their mates over for a fur shedding party, slobber into the electrics, thus blowing the house up and prevent the firemen getting in by throwing themselves on their backs and demanding tummy rubs.

Do NOT underestimate GRs. 😀

Agree. I hope that guy ran for the hills. That's next level.

Bobs already in a romantic relationship. Would absolutely throw this one back.

Of course they could be left for a few hours. Even if you dog sit professionally, you are allowed to leave them for 3 hours. And doesn't Bob sleep? They are alone for 8 hours then, LOL.

If you like Bob and you like dogs I wouldn’t write him off. Sounds like you have a shared interest in your quizzes, and it sounds like Bob’s a caring guy. I’d give him a go. As long as he doesn’t smell of dog!

A dog is not a baby.

Four Goldens? That´s a lot. But how lovely!

I might just invite myself! 😂

But you´re not compatible if that isn´t your cup of tea, OP!

First two, yes, totally. You're not in a relationship with Bob. You're in a relationship with Bob and his dogs. His dogs will come first, so you must get used to coming second fiddle (or rather, 5th fiddle, after the 4 dogs).

Last point, yes you can. We took a GR on holiday with us to a holiday cottage last year. V dog friendly and they provided a vacuum cleaner to keep on top of all the hair.

You would forever be finding long blonde hairs on anything you have or own, whether you have spent time with the dogs or not.

On the plus side, if his house isn't totally covered in dog hair, it does mean Bob knows how to clean!

I'm a crazy dog lover. But sadly lost my dog last month.

But I would never date a man with 4 dogs. I'm at the time in my life where I'm nearly child free and definitely animal free.

I want someone who I can go away for a weekend at the drop of a hat.

And although my heart is still breaking from the loss of my dog, just being "free" is amazing.

I was the gym yesterday and met an old friend who suggested lunch my immediate thought was that I couldn't do it as I had to get back for the dog, then realised OMG, I can have lunch. I can do anything, I can even stay out overnight without organising loads of shit beforehand.

I am dubious now of swiping right with men who have dogs.

I dated a man with a huge dog, and our life was based around taking him out on his long daily walks. We couldn't stay out too late in an evening as had to get aback for dog. It was annoying but I had my own dog so understood.

Would I do it now? No. And definitely not 4 dogs!! You couldn't even go for a pub lunch. Not with 4.

It's fair enough, but you need to work out if you're a dog person.....

I don’t get the hate for people bringing dogs to the pub on dates! But then again I am the person who brought my dog on dates, and dumped someone on date 2 for calling my pug ugly. I actually told my current partner on our first date that the dogs would always be a higher priority in my life than him 😂 it’s not like it was a secret either, my OLD profile was full of pictures of me with the dogs. thankfully DP now loves them as much as I do. I agree if you don’t like dogs just don’t date someone with them - totally fine if that’s your preference. Don’t start dating them then complain they have to work their life around the dog! (Although 4 retrievers is probably too much even for me)

You're saying that he has something he loves at home, another commitment, something he can't easily leave... and that's red-flag material, not to get involved.

Sounds awfully like a child... how are single mums meant to navigate this?

I love dogs (and my children), but imo it's not an entirely comparable situation. If you choose to get into a relationship with someone who has children, you know that those children should come first and that the person's movements will potentially majorly affected by their parenting responsibilities. Whereas omeone who does not have pets probably would not expect a partner with pets to have that level of commitment/ restriction.

This would one million percent put me off, thank you, next.

It might not be about the dogs entirely. I had an XP who used his dog as an excuse not to go anywhere different ("the dog might not like it") or strenuous walks ("dog might get overtired"), etc etc, you get the picture. The reality was that HE was ASD (although he didn't know it then) and was made uncomfortable by doing anything that varied from his routine. The dog couldn't be left alone, so we could never go to the pictures, for a meal, on holiday - but of COURSE the dog could be left, it was just that he didn't want to do these things.

He used to leave the dog with his parents when he went to work. They quite regularly went out and left her alone whilst she was in their care with no problems.

If there are any single, dog loving ladies on this thread, hopefully the OP can provide Bob’s details. He will for sure be a catch for someone.

I think that’s their mistake then tbh. Dogs (not all pets but dogs specifically) are not children but the level of commitment needed to look after them properly isn’t far off that if having a child. Even before I had dogs I never thought you could just bugger off and leave them alone all day. Like I said absolutely don’t date someone with a dog if you’re not a dog person, but I do think it’s unreasonable for someone (not aimed at OP, I’m talking generally) to start dating a dog owner then complain they have to work their life plans around the dog.

Hell I’d be marrying Bob, I adore Golden retrievers. Best dogs ever even though they are a bit thick.

I don’t know anything about dogs but they can’t have autism can they?

Yep none of those dates happened but at least I had a warning 🤣

My friend went on a date and the guy turned up with 2 dogs - without mentioning it - and get really arsey with her when she said this wasn’t what she agreed to and wanted to call the date off.

I love dogs. 4 GR is too much for me. But to be honest it really depends on a few things.

If it’s a date likely to go on for more than 5-6 hours or more, I can see why he doesn’t want to leave them. I would consider it a red flag if someone was willing to leave their dogs for extended periods.

Then, if he is a quiz friend, how did you become friends with Without knowing about the dogs? If you did, it’s a bit weird to be annoyed he has to plan around his dogs, that you knew he had.

Is his son often away, or is this a one off? So not likely he would be constantly cancelling because of his dogs. Does he do a lot without his dogs?

If, as his son is there, the dogs don’t really impact his ability or desire to go out and do things usually, it wouldn’t bother me.

however, I can’t imagine I would be spending too much time at his place tbh.

Perhaps he is only using the dogs as an excuse, because in reality he wants to stay in and watch The Traitors?

Four Golden Retrievers are going to stink, find someone with only one or two dogs max.

If you like Bob and would like to see where it goes then I would invite myself around to his place on Thursday if you are free. You can always go back to being quiz friends if you decide he/the situation is not for you. But you already now this is not the norm as the dogs are not usually left alone and don't curtail his activities.

But I'm a dog person and so would be more than keen to meet his dogs (aside from the guilt that I was cheating on my dog by spending time in the company of other dogs).

His son clearly chooses to still live at home and Bob has dogs and takes his responsibilities seriously. This is a plus to me. Bob sounds caring and able to expand that to more than one dog so I think he would expand that to you too and that you could obviously mean more as a human companion and so would not be last in the pecking order.

Unless you want to be shown that you always come first and are unwilling to compromise. That's OK too but a different dating field.

I think I might join a pub quiz team with the hope of meeting a Bob!

Nearly 24 hours later and I've still got some queries about how you end up with four golden retrievers....

I don't think Bob and his son are going to meticulous about hoovering up hair or opening windows. I'm sorry Bob but I can smell your house from here. It's a no.