Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have I missed the boat?

12 replies

Scaledback · 24/01/2024 20:56

This is going to be a long post and I realise it may come off as somewhat juvenile, but navigating love and relationships is a bit of an enigma to me.

Two months go I had a ONS. Up to then I had only ever had one other ONS - 20 years ago. We had so much fun together that evening and the sparks were pretty much flying. ONS approached me saying the he remembered me around from a couple of years back. Our first kiss swept me off my feet, trance-like, as if we were in a complete world of our own and time suspended.

After we dtd, we were in what I would call tender embrace all night and into the morning. Hands interwined, deep conversation, close, comfortable. At one point he kept kissing me on the front of my shoulders and hands, telling me he really liked me, that he meant it and how intelligent and fun I am, what a great time he had with me and that he would like to see me again. More than once.

For reasons I'm still figuring out (issues with vulnerability) I froze and didn't really respond. Despite the fact that I felt so comfortable and close with him and left late in the morning, I said nothing in return. I just felt so comfortable in the silence and in the closeness that I didn't fully process how wonderful it all was.

I've been single for quite some time and do have some emotional baggage (which I have worked through). We both come from previous marriages/relationships and I sense that he too has some emotional baggage.

Fast forward a few weeks and I bumped into him, while at the pub with friends. I had only had two small drinks when he came over and said hello. He seemed terribly nervous, but so was I. He went off as there was a special occasion and we both had friends with us. I was so nervous, I didn't notice how many drinks my friend kept buying me. I ended up drinking way more than I usually would. We kept glancing over at one another all evening. Later, he suddenly walked past me, whisked me away by the hand. We started to make out in the beer garden, when he said that I was far too pissed. I am and was mortified!

The next day I bumped into him whilst walking out the shop. We stopped, smiled at and greeted one another. His face was red from blushing. He said "Hey, you were really pissed last night". I replied "Yeah, I was". I realise I could have communicated more and apologised, told him that I was also nervous. While telling him that my friend took me home, he kept looking at me/my lips as if he was about to kiss me. Swoon. He said he needed to go, said goodbye and walked off. I wish I had had the nerve to tell him I like him/want to see him again.

I'm feel such a fool. Why am I so awkward? Or are we both awkward? I would love to see him again. If I don't, I feel it's going to be a massive 'what if'. There are fewer times that I can count on one hand when I have felt such genuine connection.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Dotchange · 24/01/2024 20:58

Just ask him out for coffee. Or a walk. Or to and art gallery. Or for a drink.

Just ask him out!!!

savethatkitty · 24/01/2024 21:05

If he thinks you are a raging piss head, it might be off putting. You don't need to explain in explicit detail, but next time you see him, a brief explanation as to how you ended up so drunk. As others have suggested- ask him out. You'll know either way if he says yes or no.

Hiphopboppertybop99 · 24/01/2024 21:08

Can you see if he'd like to meet for a coffee, walk or something?

Scaledback · 24/01/2024 21:32

This is what I've been advised IRL, to just ask him out. Nerve-wracking, though I will need to build up the courage or I fear that I might go my whole life wondering.

I don't think he thinks I'm a raging pisshead. If I get the opportunity I will give a brief explanation. I could've the next day when we bumped in, but became speechless when he gazed at my lips.Blush

OP posts:
Itslegitimatesalvage · 24/01/2024 21:36

Do you have his phone number? Text him now! We’ll help!

HalloumiGeller · 24/01/2024 21:38

I genuinely don't get it, why can't you just ask him out? It's clear he likes you, so what do you actually have to lose? Even if he said no, so what? Nothing ventured nothing gained!

SecondChancesAtLife · 24/01/2024 21:39

Have you thought bout writing Mills and Boon novels OP😂?

You need to ask him out - he sounds very into you but unsure of whether you’re as into him maybe.

Ask him out for coffee or spend your time ruminating and torturing yourself! What have you got to lose?

Aquamarine1029 · 24/01/2024 21:43

This is so insane. You've already shagged him, FFS, just call the man and ask him out. How people make things like this so complicated and insurmountable is baffling.

rainydaysandwednesdays · 24/01/2024 21:46

savethatkitty · 24/01/2024 21:05

If he thinks you are a raging piss head, it might be off putting. You don't need to explain in explicit detail, but next time you see him, a brief explanation as to how you ended up so drunk. As others have suggested- ask him out. You'll know either way if he says yes or no.

Give over! Does he heck.

Ask him out OP, just do it. You might never look back 👍

Scaledback · 24/01/2024 21:55

Itslegitimatesalvage · 24/01/2024 21:36

Do you have his phone number? Text him now! We’ll help!

No, but we do live in fairly close proximity. Thinking back, he was probably hinting for my number. I was so rapt in the moment and his obvious delight.

OP posts:
Scaledback · 24/01/2024 21:59

SecondChancesAtLife · 24/01/2024 21:39

Have you thought bout writing Mills and Boon novels OP😂?

You need to ask him out - he sounds very into you but unsure of whether you’re as into him maybe.

Ask him out for coffee or spend your time ruminating and torturing yourself! What have you got to lose?

@SecondChancesAtLife I may take it up. 😂 Flattered that you think my post reads like a soppy romance novel.

OP posts:
Itslegitimatesalvage · 24/01/2024 21:59

Ok, well he has put himself out there and made what he wanted clear. And he got nothing back from you. So, the next move really has to be yours. You’ve got to show him you’re interested and make a move. If he is on instagram or something then maybe send him a message.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page