so after 3/4 mental health breakdowns in the past 3 years and still not understanding the impact this has on me i getting very angry and fed up , so he admitted ( weeks after the event ) that his meltdown saying im controlling and he feels like my subordinate isnt true and was him feeling overwelmed with life , for weeks ive been going over and over things trying to make sense of things and feeling like im going mad ! ive been calm and kind and weve had a couple of sessions of couples councilling , ive spelled out how important long term support is for him , meds talking therapy or whatever and made the decision to live seperatley for a while as im fed up with this repeat behaviour .
last night i have been feeling really agitated and quite angry about the situation and tried to discuss it with him but was met with yes no answers , he said he didnt have his talking head on and had been a long day 😡
im just so frustrated that my life has to pivot around his mental health , ive lost interest in planning things , gardening , baking and feel very low and tearful which is not me !!!!! why should i now feel guilty about uprooting to a new home with 3 kids because he wont take things seriously !!!!!!! but i dont want to stay here as it doesnt feel like my home anymore , i am a very forgiving person and dont hold grudges or blame him as he hasnt coursed his mental health issues but when do you say enoughs enough ? and stop reseting and forgiving , worst thing is i love the bones of him and we actually have a very solid relationship when hes well , Rant over 😔
im starting with a therapist friday to help me understand and navigate this next step , im hoping she can help and support me through the move.