Compliments

[Onetwothreefour1234]

I have just met someone who is so lovely and so complimentary, but I haven’t had this before so finding it all about surreal and making me want to run for this hills… but why? Surely I should be able to accept it as a lovely thing, previous relationships I haven’t had this, it’s been more sarcastic but that hasn’t worked for me so maybe I should take a deep breath and see how it goes? Odd post I know

It's not the compliment itself, it's what it might entail.

Maybe you are not ready for the steps after the compliment?

I read something long time ago that resonated with me - rejecting a compliment is almost accusing the person who compliments you of being a liar

Now when I receive a compliment, I graciously accept it with a sincere smile and a thank you and I also think I deserve them.

What this guy wants, who knows? You'll find out. No reason to doubt his sincerity for now

Thank you both, I have been hurt so yes I do believe it may be a reflection on me. It helps to hear other peoples perspective so much

I had this recently and just explained that I found it odd, uncomfortable and came across insincere ( saying 'hi beautiful baby etc), he didn't take this well and my gut was correct.

I realise this may not be the same, but tell him it's making you uncomfortable and go from there. Communication is vital in relationships.

Accept it graciously with a thank you and a smile but …

(call me a cynic 🙄) be aware it might be a bit of love bombing and could become suffocating if it gets too much.

My dear chap always compliments me about my hair/makeup or what I’m wearing, especially when we’re going out, but once is enough before I find it claustrophobic.

Agree with this. Saying you look lovely tonight or that dress looks amazing on you is nice and polite and accepted graciously.

Saying gorgeous stunning sexy beautiful etc in every message or in every conversation is tiresome, fake and a red flag to love bombing.

OP just tell him that it makes you a bit uncomfortable. If he’s sincere he’ll understand and calm it down. If he reacts badly that’s your answer.

Surely I should be able to accept it as a lovely thing

Why? What rules are you trying to follow about what you should and shouldn't feel? It's like saying 'Surely I should like strawberries, but I don't, so I need to change because everyone else says it's normal to like strawberries...'

You like what you like, and you find someone who fits the bill for you. There are no 'shoulds' (apart from laws)