I’ve posted on here before (under a different name) about my marriage. I think it’s over but I’m scared and need support I think. I’m just so worried about whether it’s the right thing.
The main issues/resentment have built up over the years because of general deceitful behaviour really. Being on online hookup websites (always denies anything happened), hiding anything financial from me (I don’t know details of anything to do with where our money goes/assets and he’s evasive and shifty if I ask him), a general feeling of him not being there over the years when I was raising the dc’s - he earns the money, I do everything else. He’s emotionally stunted. I can’t have a proper conversation with him. Some sexual abuse (being rough in bed/me feeling coerced into doing the things he wants)
Other coercive behaviour too, he bullies until he gets his own way. We don’t share the same interests or have the same opinions on a lot of things.
Ive tried to tell him how I feel and that I don’t think I love him anymore and he’s gone into damage limitation mode - buying me flowers, telling me he’ll do anything I ask, wanting to take me out.
The problem is it doesn’t really mean anything any more. I don’t like being around him, he just annoys me.
BUT il be breaking up a family, have to go through what will probably be a very messy divorce financially and end up in a much worse living situation.
What was the catalyst for you deciding enough was enough? How did it go/how did he take it? Do you regret it?
My only friend who’s divorced he cheated on her - it was 4 years ago now and she’s having to work two jobs and looks utterly miserable.
I wish I could see into the future how it will be in a year or two to help me decide. I’m so scared of making a mistake as he’s not horrible- I don’t know if he actually realises how bad some of his behaviour is. He has also mellowed as he’s got older but I just don’t really feel anything for him now, though I still don’t want to hurt him 😞
thanks for reading x