Out of touch with dating

[Dee47]

I’m 47 and was married for 26 years and have been separated for 2 years, I had a boyfriend for a couple of months last year but it was someone I already knew from my childhood and it didn’t work out.
I’ve joined a couple of dating sites and have lots of interest but I am too scared to actually even say hello to anyone because I’ve never been on an actual date because of my long marriage. I have a job but I don’t have a lot of spare money to get nice clothes or spend going places and I drive but don’t have a car so I’m embarrassed that I go about on the bus all the time and have no idea where to begin to meet someone and I’m very lonely. I gave up drinking 6 months ago so I don’t really want to meet at a pub etc either and I don’t really have much in my flat so that’s embarrassing as well, I really don’t know how to go forward finding someone so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

If you are lonely, why not try to increase your social circle by joining free activity groups, like walking, reading, cycling etc? There are Facebook groups for local meet ups and there's also the official Meetup group as well. It might lead to meeting someone organically rather than through online dating.

On the other hand, don't let the fact you don't drive and don't drink stop you from dating - start a conversation with someone you like the look of online. Arrange to meet for a coffee or for a walk, somewhere you can get to easily using public transport.

You can make your flat more homely very easily - try looking on Freecycle or Freegle or local free groups if you're skint, or somewhere like B&M or Home Bargains sell cheap and cheerful stuff to brighten the place up.

I hear you OP. I came out of a 23 year relationship and hadn’t dated since the early 90’s and it’s changed beyond all recognition.

With OLD you just have to be brave and bite the bullet. If you match find something in their profile and just message asking about that. It’s just a conversation starter.

And not drinking isn’t an issue. Many first dates are just an afternoon coffee and chat. Don’t overthink it