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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think my father might be abusive

3 replies

Bonafida · 22/01/2024 20:49

I’m not 100% sure but I’ve just noticed some unpleasant things and they don’t sit well with me. At the same time I don’t see him and his partner that often so I could be totally wrong here. I didn’t quite like her initially and I when I first noticed him acting a bit dickish I was “pleased” even though there was no real justification for it. But it’s happened a few times but and it made me think twice.
Initially he cut her off when we were all talking or he would sometimes talk for her I guess, last time now when we met her literally told her to “shut up”, and it was super uncomfortable for all of us. If he said this to me I’d be livid and give him an earful but she didn’t and just stayed quiet, and that was the moment that made me pause. My problem is that I really love my father even though he isn’t perfect, but I also know that my BF would never speak to me like this and that it just seemed so wrong. My BF noticed it too and commented on it but I have avoided the topic because I’m somehow feeling ashamed. I’m not sure if there is a point in saying anything to my father or if he’ll just brush it off. I just felt sorry for her then and I think it was wrong, no matter what might have happened. But I can hardly tell off my parent because we are all adults..

OP posts:
Easterdaffsx · 22/01/2024 20:59

How well do you know his dp?
Could you perhaps ask her when she's alone with you if she's okay ?

OliveToboogie · 22/01/2024 22:03

You can call out his rudeness. Telling an adult to shut up is not on, especially someone he is meant to love. Don't know if he is abusive but he is extremely rude and bad mannered for starters.

StarDolphins · 22/01/2024 22:05

I would just call him out on it. It’s so awkward when someone is so rude, I couldn’t just ignore it.

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