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Single parents, dating, meeting the kids

1 reply

bringonyourwreckingball · 22/01/2024 18:35

Separated about 18 months ago, divorce nearly final and I have started dating again. Met a nice guy online and have been seeing him about 5-6 months now. I have 2 older teenage girls (one’s an adult) he has 2 kids 9 and 12. I have introduced him to my children but only v briefly as their contact schedule with their dad is very fluid so they have occasionally been here when I wasn’t expecting them to be - so they know I have a boyfriend, they have put a face to a name and had a v brief conversation, not planning to involve him in their lives more than that for a long time and they know that.
His kids - not remotely expecting to meet them for at least another 6 months but at the moment they don’t even know he is dating and a rare planned evening is frequently cut short because his eldest has randomly turned up at his house and is demanding to know when he will be home (he has a key but obviously can’t be left alone for long). He probably has the kids overall 50/50, but often has one but not the other - but either way we can’t even chat because they don’t know about me.

I should cut my losses shouldn’t I? I’m going to have an empty nest very soon and need to sort my life out to not need a man in it. If I keep evenings free on the basis he ‘might’ be able to come over for a couple of hours I’m going to be miserable.
Or is it worth just seeing where it goes because god knows there’s slim pickings out there for the more mature woman (I’m 49 in 3 weeks - reasonably attractive, good job, shit together but still 49)

OP posts:
FootballNut · 22/01/2024 23:55

I was the opposite end to you. When I met my gf for a first drink, she walked to pub with her daughter and dog so I saw her, although I didn't speak. Same when I picked her up a week later. But both of us properly met the other kids within 1 month. (we are 50+47) so similar ages.

It probably did help that her best friend knew me at school and drinks in the local pub too, that another friend of hers knew me well and I knew that my ex's family had links to hers. So there was a trust and connection there (weirdly, her Aunt had sent my son a Christening and newborn card 14 years ago - small world)!

I was looking for a serious relationship and if I was single again, I would have nor problem after a month or two, if relationship is going well and I think its long term, letting each other meet kids. I am not looking for a 'secret' relationship.

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