Advice please

[Irishblonde]

Hi please can I have some advice, I just found out that my ex has cancer in his lungs and it has spread to his chest ,he can hardly talk and is going to hospital next month to see how far the cancer has spread ,I'm in total shock he's in his early 40s ,he's lost so much weight , even though he's my ex I love him so much always have ,I know it's selfish but I want him to move in with me so I can look after him , should i ask to meet him or should I just leave him alone I just want what's best for him please any advice

I am so sorry that you find yourself so worried about your ex. God bless you both as you face the oncoming challenges.

There is nothing wrong with floating the idea when you next see him. It’s a lovely humanitarian thing to do but …

Before you say anything think through how it could impact on your life and if you can cope with what might be a very harrowing long haul.

You are clearly a loving and thoughtful person. If you think
you might not be able to handle it full time, could you be very supportive on a day to day basis in other ways?

Thank you so much for your reply, I have spoke to my ex partner and he says that he still loves me but at this moment he wants to fight the cancer with everything he's got ,which I understand. , I offered for him to stay with me but he says it's to far from hospital, I'm so worried about him but I don't want to keep texting and ringing him as it seems so selfish, he says he's in so much pain ,the pain relief his doctor gave him is not helping, and he's to go to hospital next month to find put how far the cancer has spread , I still don't know what to do as I love and miss him so much

I know it’s hard, but you really need to respect his “no.”
he needs all his energy to focus on his health and on coping, and right now, you’re asking energy of him by basically having him reassure and comfort you, and tell you no repeatedly.
I know it’s hard, but a counselor can help you with it- he can’t, he needs to focus on himself.

I understand, but should I message him or just leave him alone ,I love him so much and he says he loves me and I know he's going through hell I just want him to know I'm here for him I'm so worried about him

He knows where you are if he needs you.

He has refused your offer of having him move in and you must respect his wishes. I'm sure he knows how much you care and that he can reach out for your help and support if he needs it.