"Thicko"

[BigTubOfLard]

It's official - I'm a thicko and I can't deny it 😣

Last night I took down the rotary washing line as I was worried storm Isha might damage it. This morning I've gone out to put it back up: no sign of the spike hole anywhere. I search on my hands and knees; I go round with a magnet hoping it will be attracted to the metal spike; I take a butter knife and stab it into the lawn hoping to hear the clink of metal - no joy. I'm even leaving a little trail of coloured plant food pellets behind me so I can see which areas I've gone over.

In desperation I text DP to come over and help me. He arrives and I tell him that storm Isha has obviously blown leaves and dirt into the hole and filled it in. As I'm trying to explain all the "really clever methods" I've tried out already, he walks straight across the lawn to the correct spot and declares, "Here it is". 😮

I
am
too
stupid
to live.

Please cheer me up by sharing your own tales of woeful incompetence 🙏 xx

Okay, I need to actually know how he found it so quick and you didn't though! 🤭😂

Because I'm a thicko obvs! 😜

I had it in my head that it was in position X and he, having a better recall of spatial locations, knew it was in position Y. It was a mere 2 feet beyond the patch of grass I was searching in...

I hang out the washing weekly and he doesn't even live with me but still knew the location better than I do.

My inability to remember what I went into another room for is my thicko moment this week (so far). My husband was in absolute despair with me last night because I kept saying "I'm going downstairs to get my phone charger", going downstairs, getting sidetracked, coming up with something other than my phone charger. I came up with:

• A blanket
• A bottle of wine
• A packet of mini cheddars each
• A box of antihistamines

He eventually came down with me, picked my charger up and put it in my hands, and steered me back upstairs 🤦‍♀️

@MonsteraMama your husband sounds fab; he doesn't judge or carp, just gently steers you in the right direction. BTW I think your choice of items to pick up (wine, mini cheddars and blankie) sound like perfect date night material.

Oh I feel for you, OP! The whole 'thinking it's somewhere when it's really somewhere else' thing! I am congenitally unable to see a sink plunger when it's lying on its side. At work I had to unbung something and spent HOURS looking for the sink plunger, only to tell my workmates that someone must have borrowed it and taken it home - for one of them to point and say 'isn't it just over there?' Ie, exactly where it should have been - only instead of standing up on end (as it was in my head) it was lying down...and therefore, apparently, invisible.

We all have our moments. Be kind to yourself, have a giggle, and move on.

If it is any consolation... I often lose my reading glasses. Only to discover moments later they are on top of my head. 😁

One of my favourite pastimes is writing up lists of items to buy at the supermarket then playing, "What was on the list?" when I inevitably forget to take it with me...

I also spent a considerable amount of time looking for my phone so that I could send my friend - to whom I was talking on the phone at the time - a picture. AGES I was looking for that phone.

And the worst thing was that she never at any point said 'what the hell are you talking to me on, then?'

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat That's a gold winning "thicko" performance right there 😂

This morning I smeared all my very expensive facial cleanser over my body thinking it was my body moisturiser....

I've done that loads of times OP!
The one I have now has a hinged cover for the socket, so you can always see it. Hint for those that don't have this: as soon as you take the washing line out, cover the socket with a rock or brick that you'll be able to see easily.

BTW this video is what inspired the name of this post.

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