When did you feel ready to start again?

[Blahblahblahblahblahurgh]

Not sure if I should post this on the divorce board or here. But just curious about when people felt ready to 'date' again after the end of a long relationship.

I separated with my husband of 15 years (were together over 20 years) last summer. He initiated the split but it was very much mutual after a long slow end since covid.

Ex started seeing someone very soon after we split (I do have my suspicions about overlap but it wouldn't have changed the inevitable TBH).

Initially, I had no intention to have another relationship. I wanted to work on myself, get divorce finalised and spend some time alone focusing on myself. I have no desire to marry or live with a partner again (this is to protect the interests of my kids).

But lately I've been thinking it would be nice to meet someone else. I'm not going to lie, the main driver is sex. I miss sex (it was the one saving grace with ex!). But I'm not sure if I'm ready to be vulnerable and let someone else in. I'd have to do OLD as well (refuse to date anyone at work and my social circle is mainly female/men in relationships). The thought of going on the apps fills me with dread.

I'd appreciate any advice or experience from those who've been through similar.

It’s been 7 years for me but I don’t get days off and kids are with me full time. Not what I would have planned but just the way it’s been. No chance now till they’ve grown up

Oh god, that sounds difficult!

I must admit logistics is another thing that puts me off. I know I wouldn't be able to give someone new a lot of my time.

@Blahblahblahblahblahurgh honestly it varies for us all. If its sex you miss, you can try out the casual sites or use main sites and test the water. I think men do just dive in without doing any work hence your ex not wasting any time.

Personally I took about 6 months then dabbled a bit. After 6 years of disappointment with men who were nice yet with issues, I'm on my own and having got the drive to do it again. I know I need to but I guess I'm saying don't let too much time pass before you try.

No harm in getting out there if you are ready! I tried about 8 months after split but i was still so fucked up over cheating. It is almost 3 years now and I've been having a break, idly looking at apps but not found anyone I'm really interested in.

I’d go for casual sex (insist on condoms!) and see what happens from there, but if possible, someone you meet in real life (evening class, swimming club etc) rather than on line.

l often work away from home and l’ve had some lovely fun moments along the way.