Something nice for DH

[ru53]

My husband has put a huge shift in over the last 6 months+ since our baby arrived and managing a building project on our house (as I type this he is outside in the wind and rain lashing down the roof). He’s been working himself so hard, I can see that he is tired and stressed and I want to do something special for him but it’s difficult because:

• he doesn’t really value ‘stuff’
• we can’t go for dinner very easily as baby is still very boob dependent for sleep and goes to bed at 7pm
• any time I try and ask him something he might like or want he says he doesn’t need anything

Any ideas?? I’m a bit sleep deprived and my imagination has evaporated.

I think just telling him how much he is appreciated and spending quality time is the best gift you can give. That and the obvious.

Does he have a good tool belt. Or the tools themselves. Or decent/expensive wet weather gear. A good pair of boots - love a good, rugged pair of boots. A trendy cap - instead of the cheap one many men wear. Can't have too many belts - good quality leather always looks good as a gift.

If he's a beer drinker there are an increasing number of good craft breweries that do deliveries.

If he's a spirit drinker a good glass. He only needs one, or two if you are joining him. Men don't need 6 or 12 glasses like many women do. Just one for them when they sit in their chair and watch too much TV whilst thinking what a great wife they have. A tot of whiskey out of a crystal glass your wife gave you - life doesn't get much better than that. Great way to end the week.

Never met a man who didn't enjoy a takeaway. Surprise him. Order a good one and lay the table etc and make an occasion of it. You might even get away with lighting a candle or two.

But I bet he will be happy with thanks and a bit of praise - he might pretend not to, but we all like praise. When did you last tell him you loved him? Not in response to him, but because he built you a new roof ( well, lashed one down in the rain).

Make him a hot drink/ alcoholic drink/ run him a bath/ give him a foot rub or a massage when he comes in from the weather?
If you can’t go out for dinner make him a nice one at home? If he’s not veggie most men like a steak and it is easy enough to cook quickly after baby has gone to sleep?

Thanks for the ideas some really good ones here! Today was not ideal, tried to cook dinner early and everything went wrong (oven broke, baby did a poo halfway through then weed all over the floor mid change!) just one of those days. But I am going to cook a special meal this week after baby has gone to bed (not in the oven) and think about some of the other ideas too. He loves a steak so might do that.

Op I have been in this situation, not with the baby but a house build from scratch and an enormous personal and career project that takes over our lives. My partner became very stressed at one point when some outside person things went wrong, death in the family and illness in a different family member.

He told me the most valuable thing was just days where nothing happened. When he came in that there wasn't more jobs or stress at home and just 'a string of normal days' was all he wanted. I made sure the house was empty and clean. No guests, movies or TV on in the pm, hot chocolate, board game. Just nothing stressful or extraordinary. Making the normal boring evening special by treating it as sacred actually made me realise quite days when nothing happens are so valuable. I think most people at times of stress just crave peace and being able to give that to your partner is very special. It's hard to quantify but they won't forget.