NSFW (I'm 23 F) My Boyfriend (24 M) is finishing too quickly

[Cowbowbow]

I (23 F) have been with my boyfriend (24 M) for a couple of months, and everything is great. However, we've encountered an issue with him finishing quickly during intimacy. While our first time was quite long and so good, every time after had been one or two pumps and he's already came. Even with oral sex he finishes almost immediately. I talked to him about it and he's aware of the issue, expressed a desire to last longer, and is unsure why he can't control his timing. He mentioned this hasn't been an issue in past relationships. Even with a condom, it’s the same issue. Also he doesn't masturbate at all; I'm unsure but I feel like that may be one way to help the situation. I want to help him with this. Is there something that I can do to help him last longer?
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As long as he sorts you out first does it matter how quick he is. Unless he thinks of boring stuff I have no idea how he can slow down

Cardio fitness and breathing techniques would help him. If he smokes, he should stop.

As long as he makes sure things are equal then you can work on this. No doubt he finds this difficult to discuss.

I don't think many women would be happy with their partner finishing after 'one or two' seconds, that's premature ejaculation. Depends how important PIV sex is to you I guess op.

I believe there are numbing creams out there for these sorts of situations, but personally I wouldn't stress about it. Lasting longer shouldn't be the main goal imo, quality over quantity!

Although if it is having a serious impact on your and dp's intimacy, then perhaps try to see some sort of sex therapist for tips.

Also if your DP says this is a new phenomenon - might be worth getting checked out? Could be a medical issue behind the sudden change (prostate? hormones?).

Solutions:

1. Have sex more. It's like any other muscle, the more you use it, the more control you have over it. It's an awkward situation as when couples don't have sex for a while, the guy loses the 'skill', as he hasn't practiced, this means he cums too quickly, this puts his partner off, frequency decreases... vicious cycle.

1. Tell him to stop in the moment. Sensation causes it to happen quicker. If he feels the 'tingle', slow down or stop and wait until it dissipates. Then resume as normal... given practice, he'll last longer.

1. Change positions. If the woman is controlling it (e.g. on top), he can't control it. Let him go on top and he can control his rhythm.

1. Condoms decrease sensation.

Yes this is exactly how I feel. I enjoy penetration and prefer it coming from him rather than a dildo.

so many bored posters on here today

Third thread in active for me that's just....hmmm.... I reckon it's the weather, they can't get out.

Man here!

Bit late to the party but here's my advice anyway...

I'm 49 and I have the same issue as I'm very easily aroused. Always have been, probably always will be. The way I manage this in a relationship is with an understanding partner who'll work with it rather than against it. The solution, for me, has been simple enough...

She gets me off first, in whatever way. Usually orally. Then we focus on losing ourselves in foreplay and build up to me getting her off, again, usually orally. By then I'm so turned on again that I'm ready to do penetration and I'll last a good length of time because I've already finished once.

Trying to concentrate on something boring to slow yourself down is very little fun as you want to become immersed in the act and really feel engaged and like you're experiencing and enjoying it and connected to your partner.

Also, in my experience, the more you have sex, the better the situation will get. The issue I had with one partner is that we had sex so infrequently that I couldn't control my excitement by the time we did. With another partner who liked sex almost daily the situation was far more normal.

Is MN Reddit now?