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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Crush on the employee... Advice needed!!!

28 replies

Rainwind65 · 21/01/2024 13:03

Hello wise mumsnetters.

Long time lurker. Straight to the point. I (F42) have a small company, about 30 ppl, and recently hired a guy (M32) who looks after our sales.

And.. I have a massive crush on him embarrassingly. He is single.

I am happily married with my DH, 20 years together and 14 years married with 2 young kids. Work is stressful but rewarding, and we have a pretty good lifestyle. We parent well, really good mates. Really fond of each other. Maybe lack a bit of lust or desire atm but I think it is not unusual in a humdrum routine of busy life. We are basically solid.

This new hire of mine is driving me mad though. I can't stop thinking of him. We work really close as I am MD, and I of course keep everything very professional but I am finding it very hard. I will NOT do anything stupid and will keep being professional but I am thinking maybe I have to let go of him as it is my business and I can't really quit. 😢 And I feel so bad as he is really good at his job, and our sales is soaring since he joined.

WWYD? Any wise advice will welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rainwind65 · 27/01/2024 19:41

I don't think I am peri but maybe worth checking the blood.

@TobyEsterhase I know what you mean. I feel really bad about the whole thing that I might put him under pressure without attempting to do so. I am married though so I really need to sort out myself. I will!! This is the first time ever since I married my DH that I fell for someone else though and I have met many many ppl last 15 years when I was trying my best to establish my company.

Maybe I am peri after all 😅

I won't sack him. He is amazing at what he does which actually adds to my crush but well I need to value his excellency in a professional way.

OP posts:
DippingAToeIn · 27/01/2024 19:47

Rainwind65 · 27/01/2024 19:41

I don't think I am peri but maybe worth checking the blood.

@TobyEsterhase I know what you mean. I feel really bad about the whole thing that I might put him under pressure without attempting to do so. I am married though so I really need to sort out myself. I will!! This is the first time ever since I married my DH that I fell for someone else though and I have met many many ppl last 15 years when I was trying my best to establish my company.

Maybe I am peri after all 😅

I won't sack him. He is amazing at what he does which actually adds to my crush but well I need to value his excellency in a professional way.

My doc wouldn't test my blood for hormones because my only symptom was having a massive crush on someone! I know hormones have a lot to answer for but not everything is to do with perimenopause x

NicholJO · 27/01/2024 19:54

Op your his boss so to speak. You need a reality check yes he's good looking yes he's awesome in ways you don't see in your husband but he's 10 years younger then you he may be able to make you feel alive but why risk it work on your marriage not some fantasy

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