Feel like a single parent/housekeeper!

[Rookiemama1]

DH and I usually have a good, healthy relationship. However, when his 2 kids from previous relationships (6 and 5) are here, I feel like a single mum to our 7 month old son.

the past 2 weeks my son was sick, then me, then DH. Obviously I didn’t get anywhere near the same level of rest of DH did being the mummy of the house but we all got through it. DH however did pull a rib from a cough so he’s still a little sore from that.

anyway, last night I was out for a meal for my sisters birthday (with the baby) whilst DH went to collect his children. I was exhausted on the way home from trying to keep the baby entertained whilst we ate. I rang DH on way home and he told me his eldest told him that their mum still talks about them all the time. Admittedly this annoyed me and I could feel myself getting angry but I let it slide, it’s not DH’s fault.

i get home and the house is a MESS. i left it pristine and it was just a shit show. Clothes all over the living room, a fort, DH had gone to shop and left all the food over the kitchen table, cups and plates everywhere.

so the kids went to bed, I fed the baby and asked could we tidy and husband said he was too sore to do anything. So I tidied everything. Still kept my cool though at this stage.

i made us a cuppa and we sat on the sofa and I tried to talk to DH, just general chit chat and he was too busy on his phone. I ended up repeating myself and said ‘I’m not saying it for a third time’ but he didn’t even hear that.

we went to bed and I was at this stage exhausted and pissed off. We usually have sex every night but only have been having sex twice a week the last 2 weeks from being sick, my period was here etc. i wanted to be close to him and he was too sore. Fair enough. I put my head down to go to sleep and HE was pissed off I wasn’t talking much. I didn’t even have the energy to reply.

he’s away training this morning and I’m dealing with ALL the kids and we’ve to leave for his nephews birthday in an hour. Only I know he wouldn’t cope with all 3 children, I feel like telling him just to go to the party and leave me be!

Don’t go to the party, stay home with your baby. Next time he creates a mess and doesn’t tidy it up, leave it there until he does. I’d also be telling him you are no longer available to mind his children on a Sunday morning while he goes to training. It’s not your responsibility.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time. Your DH needs to step up.
You have absolutely no idea what it is like to actually be a single parent. It is insulting when women with a partner say they felt like a single parent. Makes actual single parents feel even more alone.

Difficult situation but I would try and keep the messy house in perspective. Looking after a 5 and 6 year old is full on and his children were very young when their parents split. The 5 and 6 year old need to be included in your home and life. I am unsure why you were annoyed by the child's comment about their mum. Those children are vulnerable and need to be welcomed and integrated into your new family unit. Your husband needs to step up also, he should have been more proactive in travel arrangements for nephew's party. The challenges and responsibilities of blended families! Take care, very hard work looking after a baby

If he is fit enough for training then he is got enough to tidy

His pulled muscle didn’t stop him making the mess