Insensitive boyfriend or how would you feel?

[Enker]

My boyfriend is 8 months came to stay for the weekend, he lives around an hour away. we’ve had a lovely weekend together but last night I got a phone call from my parents that our beloved family dog was knocked down and killed. I went to their house then as everyone was very upset and stayed for around an hour as they had to arrange burying the dog.

when I came back I was very upset and telling my boyfriend what has happened etc and he listened and consoled me. I was upset on and off then the rest of the night.

later on I could feel he was off with me and I asked him why, he said he was upset I didn’t give him a kiss when I came back in after being at my parents and that he knows I was upset and wanted to support me but that I could have give him a quick kiss when I came back after being away for an hour.

im so annoyed at his insensitivity but he feels I'm overreacting ?

Odd. If he wanted a kiss why didn’t he initiate one? Very strange reason to be off with you.

It sounds to me as though he can't stand it if your attention isn't on him. That's very immature. How long have you known him for?

I would now consider making him your ex bf of eight months. He is not emotionally mature and in addition does not like it when your attention is away from him. Such people do not make for being good relationship material.

That’s pathetic of him. A deal breaker. He’s shown his self absorption and insensitivity clearly.

My immediate though was red flag that he didnt like it not being all about him... is this something that there might be a bit of a dynamic with?

Petulant, needy and self-absorbed.

Are you sure about this one?

So... you've just had a trauma, and he wants to make it about him.

He arrived for a weekend shagfest, and you spoiled it by not making sure he was the centre of your attention.

Big warning sign here, he is showing you clearly he wants all your attention on him. I would say get rid, this does not bode well for the future.

I’m really sorry about your dog OP.
What you’ve described about your boyfriend sounds very like how my ex would have been and things only got much worse over time.

Utter wankpuffin

Shouldn't have even crossed his mind

His only thought should've been consoling you

What a twat. That’s my assessment. Depends if this is the sort of person you want in your life really.

So sorry I asked how long you've known him.

Weird behaviour. Red flag. An hour? He's THAT sensitive? Or is he controlling... Man or woman, that's really off behaviour. Your beloved family dog had died and you were upset, and that's his train of thought. I would seriously consider getting rid of him if I were you.

Well he’s a bit weird! Wtf!

I don't think it's a case of him being insensitive. I think he's being controlling.

Sometimes controlling or manipulative people can say and do all the right things to be able to claim they're being supportive, but they'll find a more subtle way to make you feel you're doing something wrong by being upset. It sounds like he was punishing you for being upset, and the lack of a kiss was the best fake reason he could muster up to justify his mood.

Or he could just be severely lacking in any emotional intelligence, but either way it's a massive red flag.

Self obsessed selfish twat. He didn’t get a kiss - oh diddums. Hes not a fucking toddler he’s a grown man who needs to read the room.

I agree with PP he’s sulking because he wasn’t centre of your attention and the kiss is a made up excuse so he could justify acting like a prick.

I feel sad OP bc 8 months in you’re still in the early phase but invested enough to not want to throw it all away and give him a second chance. Maybe you’re hoping to make it to the year mark. It’s not easy ending a relationship and you should not do anything rash that you will regret later based on heightened emotions at losing your dog (sorry by the way!). But take this as the red flag it is and please be wary of his future behaviour. What do your friends and family make of him? Have they met him yet? Have you met his? Is he a spoilt child of a doting mother? I wouldn’t be surprised. Or perhaps he’s extremely insecure through attachment issues and previous relationship history. Whatever the reason, his behaviour was narcissistic and showed a compete disregard for your feelings. He lacks empathy. Maybe he’s never had a family dog so doesn’t realise the impact it has when you lose one, especially the shock of the way yours passed away. Just protect yourself OP and know that you deserve someone who will respect your feelings and won’t want to put themselves first over you. You will meet someone like this even if it’s not this current BF. Not all men are like him, there are better ppl out there. Don’t feel this is the best you can do and that you’re lucky to have him. He might change if he can manage to grow up significantly but don’t count on the fact he will. Perhaps give him a second chance but not a third! Spare yourself the heartbreak and don’t waste any more time on him. Protect yourself.

Agree with everyone else. He sounds weird, immature and jealous that your attention wasn't on him. That will only get worse. Get rid.