AIBU To find this a bi “icky”

[Hardwork123]

A guy I’ve been messaging g ( we have history together but he wasn’t for me but stayed in touch occasionally) told me last night he’d been drinking and watched 50 shades so shouldn’t message me that evening. Something about this made me feel really “icky”.
i k it doesn’t really matter but AIBU to feel like that?!

I'd find it a bit icky that he watched the film full stop! 😂 Cringiest, strangest film I've ever fast forwarded through!

Well he was hoping you’d be up for sex chat wasn’t he? So yeah, some people would find it icky, some wouldn’t, totally reasonable for you to feel that way.

@winniethepooped yes I agree! I’ve never watched it as don’t like that it basically ( imo) about abuse

I bet it wasn’t 50 Shades!
He’s a bit tipsy, he’s been watching porn and he’s testing to see if you would be up for a bit of phone sex, or maybe a hookup sex if you live close enough.
Bit childish and clumsy, but easier than going through all that traditional dating, conversation, romance and actually getting to know you stuff.

Compared to a lot of guys he's been quite subtle about it! He's just testing the waters. Other men would have just sent a dick pic 😅

Yeah, this.

He thinks 50 shades is the closest/most appropriate thing related to porn to mention to "laydeez".

Like seriously, what man would sit down and watch that - I saw one minute of it and thought my eyes might never roll back to the front position. And cinematic films never have actual sex/are so tame compared to porn , which is so readily available.

His message basically means "I've been watching porn, am horned up and want to.see if you're up for a bit of of phone sex/exchanging body part pics/mutual masturbation etc. I'll phrase it as 'I really shouldn't contact you tonight" to see if you'll bite and say "oooh, I love that film, I don't mind if you contact me" etc.

He's chancing his arm/seeing if you'll respond "positively".

@Ladolcevita233 yes I think you’re right! It’s had the opposite effect for me!

If he "wasn't for you" what's the point in staying in contact?

Most men can't do platonic friendships ... And he's demonstrating that perfectly with this behaviour.
He's trying to turn the interaction sexual.

Yeah the idea of a man drinking and watching female oriented "romantic" "sexy" dross on their own is not exactly sexy.

The only way it would be remotely sexy was if he said he'd had a glass of wine/whatever and had come across it while channel surfing and was cringing and laughing in roughly equal parts.
Not implying he's chosen to watch it and is turned on.

He's also too clueless to realise this scenario is not sexy.
Which is also not sexy.

He was seeing if younger up for sex. Some might be, others not. There is n right or wrong I think if you dont fancy him just don't encourage him.

Think I'd have found it funny more than icky and probably replied "okay, thanks for telling me, enjoy your wank".

But I agree with everyone saying he was hoping for a booty call - that would be the icky bit for me and I'd be dialling down my comms with him moving forwards. He's basically just told you where his mind is at when he thinks of you.

I remember when the books came out - it seemed every other woman on a tube or on the beach was reading it. So - it entered mainstream then.
As to what you find icky or not - it’s your feelings. So - nothing unreasonable there.

My guess - as you don’t find him that attractive anyway - your mind decided it was a yet another strike against him.
If he was someone you found attractive - you’d probably written it off as something silly, influenced by alcohol.

Not seen the film but got to the third chapter of the first book and gave up. It was just so badly written with no proper continuity, and although I'm no prude and each to their own etc etc, I found it hard to believe anyone would subject themselves to the stuff in the book
Not bloody likely 😉

watched 50 shades

Run.

Staying in touch by messaging with somebody when you were never in a relationship and were never friends - I’m not surprised he’s interpreted this as “possibly up for phone sex.” Why are you bothering? What sort of messages are you hoping to get from him?

Not seen the film but got to the third chapter of the first book and gave up

I salute your resilience. I managed three pages and hand on heart, it was the worst three pages of a book I've ever read (with the caveat that I've read nothing of Dan Brown's).

@DatingDinosaur ha ha , if only I’d have thought of that response at the time!!!