Need advice

[Needadviceincalifornia99]

I have been married happily for 22 years, together 26 years. I have no complaints in my marriage. We are best friends and have a great sex life.
I recently was plugging in all our devices in our kitchen before heading out to the gym. When I plugged in my husband's tablets, a picture of a nude woman popped up on the screen. I thought it was odd, so I opened the internet and looked at his history and it was Def not a pop up. He had clicked on 15 pics of this same woman from a free internet site.
He walked into the kitchen and could tell I was upset and asked what was wrong. I said why did this pic pop up on your screen? He said oh, it's probably a pop-up. I said no, it is not. You clicked on 15 pictures of this girl. He finally said, ok, yes I did. I said why? He said, I have been physically exhausted the past three days. I really wanted to have sex with you, but could not stay awake to even try. So this morning I was looking at these pics as I was really frustrated with myself. I was like, that doesn't even make sense. I asked if he was paying for the site or talking to the women and he said absolutely not. I believe him in that respect. He also said be loves me and our relationship and loves having sex with me. We have a very active sex life so this isn't about him not getting laid.
I get many women have no prob with porn, but I am not ok with this. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel old, unattractive and not good enough, even though I know none of that is true. Side note, my husband would be very unhappy if he knew I was looking secretly at porn online.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. I know men and women are very different. I'm just trying to understand and process all of this and know I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

I wouldn’t take to much notice of it it’s good that you have asked him about it and sounds like he may have told the truth, and it’s also good that you have a good relationship and sex life so not nothing to really be worried about it’s when you don’t have a good relationship and sex life and your partner is looking at other women is the problem x

You are really doing well this long in a relationship. It seems most peoples sex life dwindles or stop altogether after kids are born! It’s not about you, it’s about a quick wank. Move on from this quickly.

Men wank shocker!

I subscribe to the “you can look but you cannot touch” school of thought.

If he’s just pulled the pud to images of a woman on the internet, I’d let it slide. If he is in contact with her, worse still paying for it, then that is an altogether different scenario.

Why is it not okay to you?

Some people need visual aids to orgasm when they’re masturbating, which is I’m guessing why it’s provided in fertility clinics where men give sperm samples, and is also used in medical research. They don’t say ‘go and think about your darling wife.’ The medical staff don’t think it means the men are perverts. It’s an accepted reality that men (and many women) like looking at naked female bodies.

Men have been looking at pictures of women in the nude since cameras existed, and prior to that they painted them. I feel like it's asking a lot to be each other's only permissible source of stimulation and honestly, it would feel controlling for a partner to say I can’t look at something I find exciting without making it all about them.

I can see why it could be hurtful to your sense of self, insofar as she’s likely to be professionally ‘hot’ but I wouldn’t assume DH was making comparisons, porn is not reality, that’s the whole point. You sound like you have a nice relationship, and he loves you.