Am I being unreasonable after ending it with a guy

[2024postivevibes]

Hi,

I was dating a guy for around 4-5 months I ended it about a month ago which did not go down well. He proceeded to get completely wasted and spent the best part of a week guilt tripping me. Threatening to kill him self. Binge drinking and then ringing in sick at work telling me he couldn't afford to pay his bills now. This only confirmed I made the right decision.

I was kind and honest and I said it had moved too fast I didn't feel like we had much in common. ( myself carrying the whole conversation all the time) he always had a few red flags that were showing signs of being manipulative. he settled down and said could we still stay in touch in touch because he missed me as a friend. I said yes but then every conversation goes back to how he's feeling down because he missed me or he's feeling better.

So he is angry because I persued him and yesterday sent me a screen shot message that I sent to him. As if to say look it was u that wanted me. And I did but then it wasn't going any where.

So I was polite and I said I think it's too soon to have a friendship because you're reading over messages and trying to guilt trip me. He completely kicked off and said I will never hear from him again

So I'm hoping he will but part of me worries he will drink him self stupid. When I ended it he told me he took a load of pills when his last ex ended it. So this guy is way too nice which seemed decent in the beginning but now I'm starting to see more too it.

I came out of a very toxic relationship guy was very emotionally abusive to me and I'm trying to end it in a way I'm repsectful but I feel like he is emotionally manipulating me too.

What should I do be supportive to him or just cut contact

Block on everything, he is abusive and coercive!

Run for the hills!!!!

Just block. He isn’t your responsibility

Just cut contact altogether.
You ended it for a reason and he’s never going to accept your decision and will continue to guilt trip you for ever and a day.
He’s not ‘friendship’ material either so cut you self free now.

Block. He won’t kill himself. Those who do never tell.

Alternatively tell him if he threatens to do it again you will send the police to his house where he risks being sectioned

It's just an empty threat to control you.

People who have intentions of killing themselves dont tend to raise the alarm beforehand. Block, delete. If he finds a way to contact you, report him for harassment

Block and delete.

Do not enter into any further relationship until your boundaries are a lot high than they are now. Men like this can and do damage boundaries.

Consider too what you learnt about relationships when you were growing up and unlearn the rubbish lessons through therapy. I would also suggest you enrol yourself onto the Freedom Programme which can be done in person or online.

If he threatens suicide, take him seriously and call the police. Every time. He’ll soon stop.

Block. You don't owe him therapy and ongoing discussion isn't in your interests.
Just ask yourself "Is this good for me? Is HE good for me?"
If the answer is no then keep it out of your life. You don't have a commitment to this guy.
If anyone threatens suicide you can suggest they contact the Samaritans, or ask police to do a check if you think they're serious, but don't engage with the threatener.

Well done for realising this guy wasn't good for you, and for ending it. Sounds like you are learning a lot and you know the way he's acting now isn't right.

Ok 9 responses all with my way of thinking I think I have some wounds that haven't healed. My dad committed sucide he knew this but still plays that card.

I'm actually proud I got out and was strong. I think I doubt my self and try to be kind coz of some of the stuff and how I was dumped but he's taking advantage of it. Thank you all

You’ve definitely done the right thing by ending it . Hes trying to play on your feelings. You were polite and tried to remain friends but he’s overstepping and hoping you’ll give in.
You don’t owe him anything, I would block and delete.

A few borderline narcissist traits in that one and would definitely be highly coercive in a longer term relationship.

You're better off out of it - you know that.

Well done for having that mental strength to look after yourself first. There are nice single men out there so move on completely.

Agreed, you need to block him. Absolutely no point being supportive, you were only seeing for a few months ffs!

This.

You don't owe him anything.

He's a manipulative dick.

You've handled this so well so far!

I'd block now.

Ask yourself, do you actually want to be friends with him? Because I don't think you do.

Block and delete. He's not your problem.

Being kind does not mean sacrificing your emotional stability. He's a twat and you're well rid. The suicide threats are most likely an attempt at manipulation, which is another way of him victimizing you. Block him.

You can end a relationship for any reason you want, however trivial, especially a short relationship. You do not owe any man a relationship. You have plenty of reason to end this one, and to cut contact - he's clearly a manipulative twat. But to be clear: you do not need a justification or even a reason to end it. 'I don't fancy continuing to see him' is enough reason. And you should not feel guilty about ending it, however much emotional blackmail he tries to pile on you.

Block him immediately! What a vile, vile man.

Yes block. So sorry about your dad, this guy is completely despicable to try and push such a painful wound with his theatrics and emotional blackmail.