Self-Help books or similar?

[HelpMeHelpMyselfToHeal]

Hello

I am recently divorced and although I am happy enough, I am struggling to unpick my marriage, my life even and I need to find a way to make sense of it. If that is even possible!!

The divorce was my choice if that's relevant but I feel some grief neverthless, together with confusion about how I was treated and anger that I allowedit!

I have read the books by Lundy Bancroft and Glennon Doyle. I'm looking for something to read which might help me feel less confused. I wish I could afford someone to talk to, but I really can't.

Would love any recommendations of books that you have tried and enjoyed.

"I need your love, is that true?" by Byron Katie

Hi OP, pop yourself over to yourtube and look up Dr Ramani, she is great at unpicking things, the majority of her topics are on narcism but I would like to say that most of the things she talks about is relevant, specially if you have gone through some emotional and gaslighting behaviors by your ex.

I find her useful.

Also, its so normal to grieve. It is one of the hardest things we go through, divorce ,as its and ending to so many things, and so many people we thought we would have in our lives for good. So allow yourself to process the feelings when they arrive and let them come. Get a journal going, its great to write down everything as if you are talking to a good friend. Its amasing to see as well how you are then able to unpick things, and move forward.

Best of luck OP

OP, this really resonates with me too: 'The divorce was my choice if that's relevant but I feel some grief neverthless, together with confusion about how I was treated and anger that I allowed it!' I'm also struggling with why I made my choice of (ex) life partner, and why I didn't recognise patterns of behaviour sooner. Which Glennon Doyle book would you recommend? I've started journalling. No book recommendations, I'm afraid!

Thank you to you for replying. I have already looked at the suggestions. I have a journal but don’t know where to begin. I read Untamed before I made the decision to divorce and it helped give me some clarity. Some of it rang so true with me I would wholeheartedly recommend it.

Sounds like you are on a journey of self growth.

I journal by just writing as if I was informing a friend how things are going. Sometimes I go days without writing anything, other days I write pages.

What do you see yourself doing now that you are divorced?

I found that I had so much headspace all of a sudden, and was able to go out running after work as I just felt better. What is it that you have been reading that helped you?

Depends on what you are looking to do? I just read Leave A Cheater Get A Life. Sorted my head out!

I haven’t really read anything and don’t know where to start with journaling! I’m not unhappy but find myself really confused by my feelings and I suppose I’m searching for some clarity.

I liked "The Positive Habit" by Fiona Brennan. It's not about relationships but about developing a positive outlook on life in general. I've ordered Untamed on Kindle, thanks for that!

OP
Try reading through this guy's website to understand relationships/feelings. Very well written and helped me a huge amount to understand what was going on with relationships.

Al Turtle Relationship Wisdom