AIBU in thinking this is double standard in sharing past?

[Anonvexed]

I’ve been seeing my partner for about a year. We’re both people who are fairly easygoing, non-judgemental and fairly relaxed/open about sex in general. We enjoy chatting about sex, fantasies, what turns us on, etc and as part of that my partner has sometimes been curious about my past sex life and asked a few questions about past experiences saying they’d be happy to share theirs in return, and I’ve been comfortable sharing a little.

However, when I did ask similar in return they become extremely uncomfortable and cagey. I backtracked and changed the subject.

I’m not bothered about not knowing the details in and of itself - more that I feel like my most intimate areas of my psyche have been probed and mined, that I’ve been read like an open book by someone who keeps their own cover tightly closed. It feels manipulative.

AIBU to think this is an issue?

I would guess they have never experienced anything related to their supposed fantasies, but had been attempting to impress with their worldliness.

I would question their ability to tell the truth when they have a need to impress others rather than consider they have double standards personally.

Yes - i do think it’s an issue, that would probably become more so in long term.
I don’t think you are dating an ‘easygoing, non-judgemental and fairly relaxed/open’ person.
You are dating someone who is trying hard to appear that. And eventually true colours would come out.

It’s fine to share, or to keep some things about past private.
It’s not fine to probe and offer trading info - ‘if you share, i will too’…. And certainly not fine to backtrack on the offer.
Childish and manipulative.

yeah i wouldnt like that either