How to get over the thought your husband is cheating

[Welcome1928]

I can’t help but questions everything now and overthink everything.
I have no concrete evidence but has anyone ever moved past this and what’s tips/advice do you have?

Can you tell us a little about where your suspicion started OP? Did something happen to trigger it? It's hard to advise without knowing whether there's actually any basis for your suspicion.

Here’s a link to a previous thread which gives more details https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4975586-is-my-husband-cheating?reply=131926714

I think you need to listen to your gut feeling.

The issue does seem to be that your relationship isn't great which may stem from the pressures you are facing.

I think him sharing more about what he is looking at and sharing online would help. Can you discuss this with him?

My partners really open and if I ever ask what he's doing on his phone he openly shares. Because he does this I have no suspicions and rarely ask. If he didn't share openly it would make me suspicious.

You’re asking us how you can let go of a gut feeling. I’m not sure that’s possible.

You have a few options

• watch and wait, which could potentially drive you crazy hypervigilant is no way to live
• snoop and do what many women have done in your place and fwiw I wouldn’t blame you despite what mn thinks
• detach and realise you can only control yourself and not someone else’s behaviours and get yourself into the strongest financial and legal position you can
• If you believe him at some level seek individual counselling and find out what’s causing you to have these deep rooted suspicions
• talk to him and tell him what’s going on in your head and consider his response very carefully

I for one, think his behaviour is shady and I agreed with posters around affairs and Snapchat. I remember on your thread that others thought it connected to the stress of work, living with the in-laws and the legal situation.

But tbh I think whatever it is, your relationship is in serious trouble he is clearly keeping something from you, and he’s clearly blocking you out. How long can you carry on like this? You deserve better than his treatment of you whether or not he’s ‘stressed’.

I was the same and thought I need to leave because it’s making me ill. I actually thought I was the problem as there was no way he would do anything. In the end I thought I really need to go all out and be a detective to either put it to bed or leave. It turns out it was an affair and far worse than I could’ve imagined. It has been an awful time but I’m glad my sanity is back. I know now that he was gaslighting me for a very long time. It’s awful to live in that headspace and you need to get to the bottom of it for your own mental health.

He does sound a bit shady, tbf. I’d go with your gut.