Should I open up?

[Jenna67]

I've been seeing someone for about a month and things are going in the right direction.

I was previously in an abusive relationship and naturally that's left me with some trauma. He knows roughly the situation but nothing in detail.

My house that I shared with my ex is up for sale (I don't live there) so part of my old life is still being sorted out even though it finished over a year ago.

I want to be completely open with this new guy but I don't want to scare him off. What's the best way to explain to him or shall I just keep it to myself for the moment?

TIA

I would keep it to yourself for the time being. Not because you might scare him off but because you don’t know him that well yet and some men enjoy the vulnerability and take advantage of this kind of information. A month is no time at all. I was open with my last partner who turned out to be a bit unhinged and ended up using my past against me in arguments.

I get that it’s a big part of your past and to an extent who you are today (or at least, that’s how I feel) but I’d try to keep the early phases of the relationship relatively lighthearted and fun and wait until you know him better before divulging, six months down the line or so.

A month seems to soon to be showing this much vulnerability.
You can share things that are still going on in your life, factual things. But I wouldn't overshare. You don't know if this man will treat you kindly or not, you also don't know if you'll be overwhelming him.

You could say something like: "I'm currently in the porcess of selling a property I had purchased in a previous relationship. It's giving me a bit of stress, and I look forward to it being handled soon."

Perfect response.

A month is much too soon OP .
Why are you rushing things ? Is this a reoccurring pattern ?
Maybe work on yourself a bit and enjoy some easy companionship before jumping into a serious relationship with someone you don’t know x

Way too soon op!

Only a month in, after a previous abusive relationship, nothing should be going in any 'right direction'.

You've been dating for 4 weeks. Keep it light and casual. For a long time yet.

Month is way too early. You need to be focusing on getting to know each other and enjoying the new relationship.
Seeing if you fit together as time progresses.

I think being open in the relationship is more
about your relationship, how you feel, etc.
It is not about brining in all of your past in detail. And it is certainly not in making your partner feeling like they need to be your therapist.

So - your traumas may pop up as your relationship progresses. If that affects your new relationship - you should of course explain the origins. BUT you also need to make sure you don’t put it on him to help you deal with them. Or the relationship dynamic will get off and eventually it wont work.
iIt’s on you to deal with your past

A month way too soon to divulge such personal information. I personally would take it as a red flag if someone started sharing deeply personal information so soon.

Way too soon, a month is no time at all. Dont be in a rush with a new relationship take your time .

You are very, very vulnerable to landing yourself in yet another abusive relationship, and your current choices and inclinations illustrate it.

You don't know this man at all. You shouldn't even be thinking about sharing deeply personal information with him.