New Year’s resolution to make friends!

[TrigTannet]

I’m 33, single with no dc. I broke up with my fiancé just over a year ago (!) and moved abroad for a fresh start in August and I haven’t made any friends here yet. My New Year’s resolution is to make friends but I literally do not know how. Anyone want to join me in my attempts? I could use some advice and moral support!

I set out to make some new friends last year, also I realised I needed to try new things .
I joined a Book Club and an Art Group, and I’m enjoying them both, the WI not so much
I guess look at your interests then see what’s around locally.

I'm on the same mission, not sure I actually want them as also in 33 years and all of the 'people' who would be classed as freinds I think 1 for definite or maybe 2 have been genuine ! For many years I've just not seen the point in wasting energy into people but seems the done thing.

I made new friends by joining an art class and an art group. Where I live we have lots of groups, I have discovered. A residents association, a history group and a NT group, not to mention U3A. Could you start a book group and advertise for members? My sister moved house and made friends by joining a gym and going to lots of classes. Alternatively, is there something like a walking group or a park run? Basically, you have to put yourself out there and find like minded people. So what are your interests? Could you start the group?

Well, why do it if you don’t actually want friends? Quite apart from you wasting your own time making an effort towards an outcome you don’t want, potential friends will absolutely see your half-heartedness. No one wants to be in someone’s life because they think having friends is ‘the done thing’.

Hi op I found alot so flaky meet once thats it but a friend did messsge me for coffee so at least some genuine people around. I dont know Im finding people v flaky in past 2 yrs..

This was just where I was being anonymously honest really, but can see how it may come across. To answer your question because life got chaotic 8 years ago with much higher priorities then social life that's at the point I would guess I didn't put out opertunity. I guess the reason for wanting to is hoping that both maturity and new location makes it a much nicer experience this time round as I wouldnt want to re enter into the drama and two facedness. I guess saying the 'done thing' is pretty harsh by that I mean there must be a reason that so many people do opt for friendships and if they're is positive sides I would love to see that. Evidently I'm going to have to think more about my own social filter.

You must have had very bad luck with friends in the past! I can honestly say mine bring a huge amount to my life, and I simply don’t recognise the drama, flouncing and pettiness so often described on here. I’ve only once in my life struggled for friends (insular place where I was too ‘foreign’), but I am very fussy about choosing friends. I don’t have a category of ‘friends’ I’m lukewarm about.

Unfortunately so but one of the huge factors may very well have been location as in very rural very secluded and everyone knows everyone area and very little else to do bar gossip and drama. I am hoping the location played a large part but it does leave me very nervous but I am genuinely hoping to go into it with positivity so on reflection it seems I'm not ready.