still sad husband left

[Mollylegs]

Hi, I suppose I'm looking for reassurance that i'm not mad. My husband of 16 years and partner for 22 left me 17 months ago and I'm still struggling to get my head around it fully. He left me for somebody else and I didn't really see it coming and my problem is that I still miss my husband, I'm hoping this will soon pass. I still think it would be so nice for him to pull up on the drive at teatime and things would be better, I'm also not that deluded as I know I would never ever trust him again. Does anyone have any stories they have to let me know one day its going to be ok xx

You're not mad. Mine left 26 months ago and I still feel like this.
Being in my late 40s I doubt I'll meet anyone else now.
Sorry, it's shit.

Thankyou @Lookingforunicorns it hurts and I know I should be annoyed at him but i'm really not

You're still grieving the loss of the relationship you once had but even if he returned it wouldnt be the same. Your trust in him is lost as you said. You're remembering with rose coloured glasses. The pain you feel, this too will pass but you can help that pain by choosing to move onto a new chapter in your life. 💐

Thank you @TheMoreYouKnow O know I should push myself but find it hard

Friend of mine was left by her husband of 18 years, left her and 2 kids behind and started a new life without them.
2 years later she went to therapy to help her move on.
She told her story and therapist said: "oh dear, it's only been 2 years. No wonder you're still struggling! After all the years of building a life together, surely if it meant something, you'd need more time to move on."

She said it was the most helpful thing anyone had said to her since the day he left.

Have you heard of Tonkin’s theory of grief? It helped me process a monumental betrayal by two people I cared for deeply. I have actively pursued things that made my life bigger - new friends, hobbies, job etc. and so now their loss occupies a much smaller space in my life, although it is still there to a degree and probably always will be.