Practical advice for ending marriage

[RaisingAnOnlyChild]

Currently married, 1 child and mortgage. No abuse or anything like that but he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Savings have been wiped out recently so nothing to fall back on there. We have joint debt on loans and child starts school Sept so application is in and pending.

I cannot buy him out and I doubt he could buy me out so the house will need to be sold and move to rentals. I have no family nearby. Not the greatest time wise but please wise MN users provide me with practical advice for how I navigate this.

When Ex-H and I split we took the approach of going 50/50 on all assets and debts, unless there was an obvious reason not to (e.g. if there was a car loan whoever kept the car kept that loan).

Neither of us could afford the house on our own so we sold it and each took half of the equity - which I then used for a deposit to buy a smaller place. From speaking to a solicitor further down the line I think there would have been options for me to stay in the house because of DC being involved but it was too late by then so I don't know that much about it... probably worth a chat to the solicitor though to understand all of your options if you did want to stay in the current house.

As well as getting divorced we did a separate legal process (I think it was called a financial order) where we documented how we'd agreed to split everything and signed that we were financially separating and would never make any future claim to each other's finances. I definitely recommend talking that through with a solicitor too.

The other thing I'd suggest thinking about early on is childcare costs if you have any and how they'll be split - even if it's for things like summer holidays for older children. Will it be 50/50 split of costs or if you have designated days when DC are with each of you would you pay for childcare on your own designated day.

I hope that helps a bit!

Thank you. I am hoping to book an appointment with a solicitor soon to see all my options. I don't want an angry divorce but I also don't want to be screwed over re pensions etc. I reduced hours to save us in childcare so I want to be topped up by his pension as mine has taken a hit and I fear that is where it will get nasty.

I hadn't thought about childcare costs and how they will be split so another thing to think about