Separation/ divorce

[OLJ]

So me and my husband have been through a lot past few years and I have wanted to separate for a while he says he thinks it’s for the best but then blames it all on me saying it’s my fault I’m the one who wants to split and split the family we had 3 kids. Only problem is we both own the house and he won’t leave so when I say I will leave he says who is going to have the kids obviously I won’t leave them! Should I move out get a council house or private or sell the house sorry it’s long post xx

If he won’t leave you need to see a solicitor and force the sale.

Sadly I don't think there's a council in the UK where you can walk into a council property without being on a waiting list for some time.

You can push forward with divorce proceeding whilst living in the same house, and force the house sale as part of the financial settlement. Not ideal, but needs must.

Thank you x

I know especially where I live there is nothing could go private but it’s so expensive 😢

You will need to sell the house and split profit. The council have huge waiting lists sometimes years. Start divorce proceedings and get house valued and on the market.

OP - as you are married, your house is owned jointly. So - you can’t expect him to just leave. Or vice versa.

You also can’t get a council property if you own a place.
So - file for divorce and go through the motions - you need to negotiate assets split and child arrangements.

Most people continue living together while they do the negotiations. It’s not pleasant but there isn’t much choice.

My ex husband and l have separated back and forth separated for the past 7 years with no change. We agreed he moves out as arguments were increasing and because most the household and children chores are placed on me. I have tried to motivate him to take his responsibility towards kids and due to having a son with special needs everything is on my shoulders and still have to work ( part time) as not much support from him and do practically most things in the house and with kids. My ex is studying on a work and study course he always makes excuses has so much work in uni, comes to see kids does not help with anything at all seat on his computer doing uni work or at times on his phone just conversing with kids at times. But every food l cook for the kids at times cook in batches as l don't have time when l come back from work he would take some and put for his lunch next day and on day, breakfast or dinner. No matter how many times l give feedback no change. I have prompted him several times but if need anything done l have to beg and really concerned as l have finally applied for divorce and at the end nearly.

I am concerned as he is saying for us to agree things together without the court. l can not trust him that he will hold his side as he has never. He is saying that if l apply for a court order the courts might favour mothers always. He also wants the house after the divorce as he feels he has not lived here much and will have a place with the kids and because council house said that we got it whilst married because he has lived in the borough longer ( have joint tenancy). I don't mind moving out as house is full of sad and pain for me. He wants 50/50 childcare. I don't have anywhere to go after divorce. Has anyone gone through this and any advice would be appreciated.

He wants a lot doesn’t he!
The house , the children but only in name only. and a means to avoid financial responsibility
I think you need to get tough OP does he even realise what 50% childcare actually means?
Id be tempted to go away for a few days, at a busy time and let him do the school runs and childcare etc
Get some legal advice . He’s being unreasonable and you need to stop enabling him

Pumpkinpie 1 yes unfortunately by name. I don't think he does as he usually complains when l am not there in work he tends to ask when l am coming back. Thank you for your advice l am seeking legal advice for this one.