I don’t know the real point of this post I suppose I just need a handhold and some advice 💐
I have been with my partner for 3 years and we have a beautiful baby together. I genuinely believed this man was my soulmate up until 4 months ago. He’s turned into someone unrecognisable. He claims he love me so much and I am the best thing to ever happened to him but his actions say otherwise.
I have mentally checked out with him but physically cannot leave. I’m terrified of losing him but we cannot be together. We are so unhealthy. I can’t wrap my head around how claims to love me and our family with the things he does.
I have broke up with him many of times but he doesn’t leave me alone and then I fall into the same old trap of his lies and end up back with him.
I seriously need to find the strength and courage to leave this man and I really do not know how. I have an intense fear of him finding someone else (although I am highly confident in he won’t find better, maybe someone nicer looking but not a heart like mine) the things I did for him and the places I got him out off.
I fear going through the breakup. The emotions , looking after baby alone whilst I’m in such a bad state. Although we are currently ‘together’ my mental health has hit rock bottom , he has destroyed me completely.
I can’t continue our relationship hoping he will go back to how he was, I gave him chances after chances. I’m rambling now, I’m just really struggling and I know I deserve a lot better 🤍
I find it impossible to walk away , he begs for me back swears he will change but never does. How??? Can I do this???