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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to be fed up being bottom of the pile

4 replies

PEEDOFFFACE · 16/01/2024 04:24

My DH side of the family live other side of the country. We used to go twice a year to see them. This year I couldn't go as altho I had holiday in half term, he chose to go at the start of half term when I was working. His defense was that he wanted to come back and have the weekend before going back to work. Ok fair enough.

Now we are meant to be going up again. He presumed I wasn't going as working. However I said I would take parental leave( have two days hol so just need one day off) but now he's telling me he's coming back on the Sunday, which is when me and our youngest have theatre tickets ( which I bought and he knew about months and months ago) . He doesn't want to come back the Saturday because he wants to see his niece and nephew longer and he wants to give his dad a lift to ours ( which I get but he could bring him the Saturday!)
So my options are go and lose days pay ( parental leave ) and waste tickets, or stay at home with youngest so we can go theatre ( but I'll have to have unpaid leave so lose days pay)
Or stay at home on my own but the tickets are still wasted. He keeps says logically he should come back the Sunday . But theres no bloody compromise. Am I being ridiculous? If I said he could've go out next Saturday with his mates all day then, as he's making my and youngest miss our plans he would have a fit.

Sorry I know it's long. I just feel like my plans are not important.

OP posts:
Stillnormal · 16/01/2024 04:27

Stay at home with youngest and use the extra day to do something else that’s a treat. I reckon. Go to the theatre!!

PEEDOFFFACE · 16/01/2024 11:38

Tempted to say I'm not ever going to see his family.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 16/01/2024 11:52

So my options are go and lose days pay ( parental leave ) and waste tickets, or stay at home with youngest so we can go theatre ( but I'll have to have unpaid leave so lose days pay)

So the monetary issue is just about the theatre tickets, right? As either way it will be unpaid leave.

I'd probably go to the theatre unless I could resell the tickets. I don't blame your DH too harshly for wanting to spend more time with his family. It's hard being a long way away.

PEEDOFFFACE · 16/01/2024 11:58

I suppose I'm annoyed that it's not even discussed. He's literally we are coming back Sunday. I get what you are saying that it's his family, but Weve been together 15 years so it's not like they are not part of my life too. I've only got a mum on my side ( everyone else died) and he rarely bothers to see her with me then when we do go he just sits on his phone)

OP posts:
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