Hi everyone,
I've posted on here before about a relationship I've been struggling in where my partner does not have healthy communication and resorts to the silent treatment. Our last bout was around the holidays and it's now been 3.5 weeks since he's been acting this way. Which my head can't wrap around the reality of how long this has been happening for.
For the most part it consists of him coming and leaving the house without a hi/bye, no texts or calls throughout the day and often not responding to mine. On occasion where he does or answers me verbally he is clearly annoyed and will give one word responses. After work he will spend all his time in his office( other room in the house) and will only come to into bed when it's time to sleep. Over the last 3+ weeks this has resulted in us not even having a full sentence with each other, eating together or spending any time together. He will continually not make eye contact, will sigh when passing me by and I feel like utter dirt.
He is not this way whatsoever with anyone else during this time and this isn't a speculation, I've seen his interactions with co-workers, friends, strangers etc. It's just me.
During our 4 years together this period is the worst it's ever been as in the past he'd gradually become less agitated as the days went by. He also never purposely avoided being in the same room as me.
I've given him plenty of space but the reasons as to why he got upset in the first place, in my opinion, is not alright and I am the one who actually deserves the apology.
I started a new job not long ago and it's been a struggle to deal with that and come home to an environment with no support and someone treating me like I don't matter. I've spent most nights crying and was upset at myself for it, it's just been unexplainably lonely living with someone who won't give you the time of day and just keeps a cold expression around you.
There's been a few times I've tried to ask him questions in order to attempt a conversation and he will sigh or almost roll his eyes in annoyance.
I don't know how to not let this affect me. Everyone has said to enjoy the silence or extra time to focus on myself but in all honesty this weighs heavily on me and has brought me down more than words can express. It's also affecting my new employment as I don't sleep well and am very distracted by the situation at home.
As much as I keep asking myself why is this person treating me so cruelly, as others have given advice, it's best to not try to understand. I know that I am not at fault and no mistake or misunderstanding warrants treating someone this way. I am just crumbling at his behavior and I'm trying so hard to keep myself together as I cannot leave at the moment.
I've been increasingly angry at myself for not speaking up and setting boundaries to tell him this is not okay. Anytime I speak, I'm so soft spoken and threading lightly, I just feel broken. I'm ashamed of the person I am, if I'm honest with you all.
I'm sorry for the long post and for others who know my situation from my previous thread this isn't anything particularly new.
I'm just feeling really low and your words have been a source of comfort to me in the past... more than you'll know.
For others who have dealt with a similar partner before, did you ever figure out their motive? Was it control? Punishment? Simply treating you as an emotional punching bag as they had no outlet to express their anger and frustrations?
Thank you for taking the time. Anyone needing to talk about their worries can always feel free to message me. I'll gladly be an ear to listen.
Kindly.