I'm wasting my time with him, aren't I?

[ForeverAlone3]

I'm 36 yo single mum to a toddler. He's 34, no kids.
We started dating and he told me straight away he was a little shy which is not a problem.
I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago. We went out probably 6 or 7 times for a drink/dinner. We had some lovely cuddles and kisses.
No red flags, he seems like a nice guy, he's only been in one relationship before since they were teenagers. They were together for about 10 years. We both have a house each (mortgage). Both in good stable jobs.
He is quite understanding that I am a busy sole parent and he's been flexible and always met me when and where it was convenient for me.
However, I find the time with him quite boring. He never asks much about my past, family, my child, work, anything! You'd think he's completely not interested in me. He doesn't talk much about himself either. But then he kisses me passionately at the end of each date.
He texts me everyday and its always 'how are you today?' hows your evening?'. LOL he knows I'm a sole parent who works full time, every day i work, look after my child, clean up and may watch some netflix for an hour before i go to bed!
I used to be quite funny and thorough with my responses, I thought he will get more comfortable and show a bit of personality. But now I don't think it's going to happen.
Another fun fact. He has never called me by my name. Ever. I find it bizarre.

I fancy him, he seems like a nice guy but why is he like this? Help me understand please!

I feel like I want to text him 'sorry i don't think we click, all the best'. But I stop myself everytime!

I think if you find time with him boring then there’s not really a future is there? Unless you’re happy to spend the rest of your life being bored?
And the fact you want to text him to break it off kind of says it all really! I wouldn’t stay with someone just because they’re a really nice person. I’m sure he’ll be someone’s right person but doesn’t sound like he’s yours 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's not the one for you. At this early stage it should be easy and fun and exciting and you should feel he fascinates you.

I'd gently end it if I were you.

You're paying for/arranging childcare in your limited free time so you can sit and be bored?

Why on earth are you continuing to date someone you find boring?

A similar thing happened to me. I used to sit on the date wondering why I'd made an effort to look nice because he didn't seem interested. Then at the end of the date he would kiss me passionately barely saying a word. I realised that I didn't fancy him so gently told him we weren't compatible.

You just don't click, physical attraction is not enough. Yes you are wasting time, you've dated 6-7 times and you still feel awkward, when in a relationship, it's important that conversation flows effortlessly and you're able to laugh, what a waste that you aren't getting this. I would tell him kindly, dating has been nice but just be honest that you don't click, he could be feeling the same, shame but one of things, you can both go on to meet someone more compatible.

Kind of explains why he's been single a long time. Devoid of social skills unfortunately. He might be ND and can't help it, but bottom line is, that's not your problem and it doesn't fit with your needs whatever the reason.

He's not interested in anything serious, just causal. This could only be from you or perhaps everyone. He may also be still involved or still caught up on his ex.

You aren't interested in him, and are only in it for the causal. Physical and intimate attraction isn't enough to sustain nor maintain a relationship.

You're bored and horny...that's where he comes into play.

Both of you are incompatible, and should stop wasting each other's time. .especially if either one of you are looking for a serious relationship.

You’re not compatible.

Having a boring partner is death by a thousand cuts.

This is a non starter! He sounds boring and uninterested in you as a person

I am going to agree with everyone else, it’s not going to get anymore exciting than this with him. The early days should be fun, not boring

I think you've given it a good go now drop him kindly, he is boring and has developed no social skills over the past 34 years. Doesn't make him as bad person but this won't improve. I think you will start to find the voracious kissing off-putting soon too as it's a bit teenage, having zero to say but being happy to paw you. I doubt he's great at sex.

It doesn't matter why. That's his problem, not yours.

Just end it. Don't settle for boring and uninterested this early on!

Thanks all, I needed to hear these opinions, I feel quite silly now!
Those who said he may be ND I think you're right, he's definitely showing some signs, plus he come across quite childish.
I think there are several reasons why I haven't binned him off yet. I find him physically attractive and I hate being the only single person I know. Stupid, I know!
Anyways, I will text him today and let him know that I won't be seeing him again.

Thanks for your views all, this is really helpful.

I’ve had a similar experience with someone who I suspect is ND. Went on for a year. I thought maybe he would become interested as time went on in me as a person but it didn’t change. Cut your losses now.