Me and DH are not in a good place in our marriage, and I'm not sure right now if it will survive.
The thing is, whenever I try and talk to him about things I'm unhappy about, all I get is blame as to why. For example, I pointed out today that he never ever tells me anything that's going on in his life (just day to day, what's happening at work etc) and that it makes me feel like an unimportant "outsider". He always just says "oh, I didn't want to add to your stress" even if it's not anything stressful! I tried to talk about it today and he said there's no point talking to me about things as I never seem interested and change the subject onto myself so he doesn't bother! For years apparently...
Another issue I bought up recently - A couple of years ago I returned to worked after 10 years as a sahm. Husband spent 6 months pissed off with me over this (moody, passive aggressive comments etc) This is what started the downhill trajectory for me. I said how much this hurt me. I got told it was my own fault for tearing apart our family time (part of my hours were at the weekend). No apology for the shitty behaviour. No acknowledgement that this was the only way to get a stepping stone back into the workplace.
How can I even talk about our issues if the discussion just turns into "well I do this because you are xyz". How can we move forwards??? I'm scared to bring up issues now because I know I will just be told how awful I've been in some way.
It's so exhausting and we just go round and round in circles. I just question constantly if I'm really such a terrible person??? And if I'm so terrible, why does he keep telling me I'm wonderful, always doing so much for the kids etc. It feels so condescending.
I just don't know how to move forwards :(