Engagement ring replacement

[roses321]

I kind of feel stupid but long story short, I broke up with my partner in May last year. I was engaged to him. He as a toxic, abusive and nasty piece of work and we jointly owned a home that he liked to tell me what I could and couldn't do in - it got so bad with him that I started getting ill and eventually left to go and live with my sister for good.

I had to sell all my furniture to a second hand store and and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see my first ever home turn into a hovel of a batchelor pad. It took me months to collect my personal items as I was so mentally not ok with everything and when I did he'd installed surveillance cameras and collected all my personal items into a pile with a camera pointed at them. I honestly hate him for what he's put me through.

I had left my beautiful engagement ring when I left the house, weeks later he'd asked for it back and I told him it never went with me, I couldn't bear to look at it to be honest and I didn't want it near me. I loved him so much and couldn't understand why he behaved the way he had - he'd also been on kik messenger sexting at the start of our relationship so I have no idea why I thought it would ever work out.

Anyway... so I'm 8 months out now and my life is so much better. Today I went into a jewellery shop for a browse and saw this beautiful eternity ring that was similar to my mums and I fell in love with it. I'd like to buy it as a "replacement" for the diamond ring that I left behind, not as an engagement ring or anything like that but more because I don't even own a ring, always loved the channel set style and this one was a decent price and as a memory of getting through everything I have - a fucked up first house purchase, first engagement and of basically getting through it and feeling like I can function again.

Is this stupid? Part of me feels I have no businses wearing a diamond ring as I'm single and no man on the horizon, but I do absolutely love the ring and plan on wearing it on my ring finger on my right hand. What are thoughts? Am I being ridiculous? I miss my sparkly ring to be honest and would like one of my own without strings attached.

Do it. If it's going to make you happy why not

Well it's not as expensive as the engagement ring was but I absolutely adore it and I was going to use saved birthday/christmas money to get it. I've always wanted a channel set ring, I just feel like will I be a freak if I buy a diamond ring for myself? does that make me a sad spinster? I'm 39 childless and manless so I don't want to be a sad case. But yes, it would mean a lot to me to have it and to have bought it and never have anyone able to take it from me.

But it as a celebration of your single-ness, survival and independence. I think it's a sign of a strong independent woman - not a sad case at all

• buy it

Go for it your not manless your living a much better life now just be glad you got out and have no baggage attached to him for life. He's a loser.

Buy the ring. Wear it and enjoy it baggage free.

Thank you ladies, I will go ahead. I appreciate the "permission" I suppose. I think we women question ourselves too much!

If you can afford it, why not? Has your ex bought you out of the house or have you sold it? He owes you half the equity.

Long story but he is paying all the mortgage right now and there is no equity in the house due to a complicated dispute - we were mis-sold so that needs to be sorted before sale. But yes, he isn't going to be living there much longer if I can help it because i've made it clear via my own solicitor it's getting sold asap.

do it! i had a similar experience and when my wedding was called off , I spent the whole wedding budget (whats left of it) on a watch. On hindsight it was the second best thing I could have done but what a watch!

Or he can buy me out and rot in it - i don't care anymore which one as long as i can get my money back via sale or damages whichever one is easier.

You are my hero! :-)

Sorry the above response was meant to be for this not my own quote haha sorry! i'm being dim.

I buy rings just because I love them with no thought about what their intended purpose is.
There was a long running thread on here that I followed. A woman had left and was divorcing her absolutely useless sounding husband. Part way through the process she fell in love with a ring and bought it for herself. She put it away and put it on when her divorce came through.