My ExDH and I split in May 1 week into him being away with work for 6 months. We have 2 DS 10 and 7 and they have been staying with their DF one night midweek and EOW since the start of December. We had a stressful time on Christmas eve whereby my ExDH threatened to drive my DS's hours away to his gf's because I had plans and stuck to my boundary to change the pr-arranged childcare agreement to an earlier time at a few hours notice. My 10 year old has been refusing to go to his DF's ever since and is due to be collected from school tomorrow and I don't know what to do. There a lot more to it but my DH is emotionally abusive and this has continued post separation so I'm constantly second guessing myself. Every time my DS(10) goes to his DF's he is messaging me asking me if I can go and pick him up which is a total 360 because he idolised him. He point blank refused to go on his last weekend so I kept him home with me and DS(7) went on his own. When DB DS(7) returned the first thing he said is that his DF bought him a gift and that his DF only shouts when DS(10) is there. His DF then sent a load of pics of him and DS(7) to him to prove what a good time they had. My Ds(10) now thinks that he is the cause of his DF's moods. This wasn't helped when his DF told him in front of me that he is shouty because DS(10) doesn't do what he is told or pick up after himself. He also told him that he didn't get to pick and choose when he saw him and when he doesn't and walked out slamming the door. He went to his DF's last week because it was a choice between afterschool care which they hate and his DF's. Both DS's said that their DF said that DS(10) wasn't to go back at the weekend and that the Xbox that he bought them both for Christmas now belonged to DS(7). I know my ExDH will make out I'm poisoning his DS's against him but I can hand on heart say that this isn't the case and I would never say anything that would mix up my DS's even more than they are already. I belief in keeping my side of the street clean in the hope that my DS's will be able to make up their own minds in the future. There will be comeback, but does anyone know if he can force him to go? We don't have a court order. Thanks in advance