Strange behaviour from partner

[GardenPosie]

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I'd have it out with him. Just ask. See how he responds

Thanks. Somehow I have deleted some of my post but can't repost it so I've put an error message up.

I am worried if I speak to him it will push him further towards her as I'm concerned he will become defensive and think it's all just in my head. I am kind of hopping other people notice to validate my concerns! I have been jealous in the past and that has been my problem. But yeah, I feel like he won't respond well. However, if I don't nip it in the bud I am concerned it will grow and he doesn't seem to be very emotionally aware as I am so I think I have realized what is going on before he has.

You can still read it.

I think you need to speak to your partner about this, as this is not nice that it makes you feel like a third wheel! this is your reletionship and you need to take control! DO NOT STOP GOING as this "thing" you see will only get worse.

If you can't speak to him about, that does not look good for the relationship, you should be able to discuss anything without fear of being made to look or feel stupid!

We allow how others treat us by not speaking our minds.

If I had this feeling about my DH and saw him going back to whisper something to another woman I would have it out with him and not drop it until he gives me proper answer.

As awful as this is, I would try to sneak a look at his phone to get some evidence first before talking about it. He might gaslight & make you feel like you're making things up or seeing things. It's very strange behaviour to make you feel like the outsider xx

You have to talk to him and then make a decision on how to proceed based on his response.

Thanks everyone.

I think I will wait a few weeks and then talk to him. I think I need to see a few more interactions to feel confident to speak to him about it.

He has been very stressed this year with work and a big project we've taken on. I am concerned if I try to talk to him about it then he will be in denial and get angry about me being dramatic or putting more stress on him that he doesn't need.

He just seems pretty down and negative when he talks to me sometimes, like I spoke to him today and he seemed quite down trodden. I am worried he's kinda checking out of the relationship because we've had such a big year. It would just be so awful for them to continue to behave like this or it gets worse because it's right in my face and it impacts my personal life because this is my main hobbie and most of the people we associate with there are all mutual friends. He couldn't have picked a worse situation really.

Here it is-

GardenPosie·Edited·Today 13:55
I have spotted what I think is some strange behaviour from my partner.

I can't really describe exactly why but a few months ago I started feeling a bit off about him and someone we do a mutual sport with. It was bugging me a bit, but never enough to speak to anyone about it. She disappeared off the scene, but when I did see them together it didn't actually bother me, so I think I was showing my insecurities.

However, there has been someone else who joined our sports group a few months ago and they've become very close. I would say this is unusual for him, it just "feels" different.

They are spending a lot of time together when we are all at the gym, and often it seems they are seeking each other out to spend alone time together. I feel when I approach them I am "interrupting" something. She follows him about sometimes, and has been loitering when I'm speaking to him, almost waiting for her go.

I have been telling myself maybe it is in my head but then yesterday we were leaving and we said bye to everyone, and he walked back to the group, approached her from behind, leaned in, and whispered something to her. I imagine he was just saying goodbye, but it was very odd. She was also sitting in between our other friends, so he'd not have said anything untoward but it was the fact he said bye to everyone else but then went up to her and gave her a personal whisper of a message before leaving.

The way he treats her seems different to how he treats other people, to me it feels like they are extremely comfortable around each other and it's hard to understand as I don't feel they could have spent enough time together to be like that.

I don't feel I have enough intel at this stage to approach him about it without him shutting down and becoming defensive, but I am worried he is nurturing something outside of our relationship.

Many ago I did get quite jealous of someone else and it drove a bit of a wedge between us as I was very emotional about it. Even at the time though I recognised it was my emotions and I told him about it and we worked it out. This time, I feel like he would jump to her defence quite strongly from how I've seen him behave with her.

I don't feel like I want to participate in this group sport around them anymore as I feel angry, hurt or uncomfortable and left out, like I'm the third wheel between them.

I also feel a bit like he doesn't want to be seen to be too much of a couple around her, like his interactions with me are stilted, but when we are around our other friends he can sometimes be quite close or flirty.

My sister says stick in there but keep an eye on the situation