Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am I oblivious or is everyone else just reading too much into it?

47 replies

roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 18:31

So I live 2 doors down from a guy who's single (this is confirmed as my neighbour has seen him on tinder) and we've spoke in passing nothing more

Anyway yesterday I was waiting for a tow truck for my car and he came back as I was waiting and he normally parks in front of my car as it's street parking so I ran up to his car and explained the situation and he said sure I'll park round the back

Then he said "what house number are you? You got me a Christmas card didn't you? I'm sorry I couldn't send cards I was travelling " and got me a box of celebrations (back story in my cul-de-sac we all give each other cards every year ) so I thanked him and didn't think anything of it

Then talking to my neighbour she mentioned everyone else had given him a card and no one else got anything but he had sent cards out I then checked my recycling and yep card there so I just assumed that he either got me mixed up with someone or just wanted to get rid of the chocolates

My neighbour reckons it's a sign he's got a thing for me but I reckon he probably just wanted to get rid of the chocolates and I was in the right place right time

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Bernieee · 14/01/2024 18:47

He may do, hey may not do. No point trying to read into it. If he likes you he’ll make it known. If he likes you and doesn’t make it known, is that someone you really want to be with…

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 18:49

Bernieee · 14/01/2024 18:47

He may do, hey may not do. No point trying to read into it. If he likes you he’ll make it known. If he likes you and doesn’t make it known, is that someone you really want to be with…

I do quite like the look of him to be fair always have there's a bit of an age gap with him being 41 (although he looks about 30) and me being 23 although my parents had a 20 year age gap.
I do understand why he probably wouldn't want to be more direct if he was interested as if I didn't feel the same it could have made it very awkward

OP posts:
Somatosensational · 14/01/2024 18:52

23 and 41… and a neighbour… don’t go there!

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 18:58

Somatosensational · 14/01/2024 18:52

23 and 41… and a neighbour… don’t go there!

I totally get the neighbour thing could be awkward but we both work full time , I'm the only one that speaks to the other neighbours and tbh even if something happened and it went no further I wouldn't hold any grudges or make it awkward end of the day life happens

OP posts:
Whsthappensnow · 14/01/2024 19:09

This is interesting to me. I posted a while ago about having a bit of a thing for one of my neighbours who helped me out a bit and the general consensus was to try and get to know him better.

Incedently it's been 6 months and I haven't plucked up the courage I just found the difference in responses interesting.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 19:11

Whsthappensnow · 14/01/2024 19:09

This is interesting to me. I posted a while ago about having a bit of a thing for one of my neighbours who helped me out a bit and the general consensus was to try and get to know him better.

Incedently it's been 6 months and I haven't plucked up the courage I just found the difference in responses interesting.

To be honest this will probably be me I'd love to pick up the courage to ask him over for a glass of wine but I'd be so embarrassed if I'd read it all wrong haha

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 14/01/2024 19:13

Why go so heavy as a glass of wine?
If both out doing a bit gardening out front, just say you're popping the kettle on fancy a brew whilst you're making yourself one?

Ialwaystry · 14/01/2024 19:14

Seems to me that he just had the chocs (maybes gifted to him) and felt guilty he hadn't sent a card.
Right person at the right time but hey... Its broke the ice.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 19:15

alwaysmovingforwards · 14/01/2024 19:13

Why go so heavy as a glass of wine?
If both out doing a bit gardening out front, just say you're popping the kettle on fancy a brew whilst you're making yourself one?

That's an idea although we don't have front gardens it one of those new build estates where's there's like a tiny piece of path and some gravel. And neither of us garden much to be honest

OP posts:
Whsthappensnow · 14/01/2024 19:15

That's exactly how I feel! In my case, he's actually a contractor at my place of work too but I've just had my hours changed and never see him. I want to find out for sure at least if he's definitely single before I make a fool of myself!

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 19:16

Whsthappensnow · 14/01/2024 19:15

That's exactly how I feel! In my case, he's actually a contractor at my place of work too but I've just had my hours changed and never see him. I want to find out for sure at least if he's definitely single before I make a fool of myself!

You could try something like when you see him fix something just say "I bet your girlfriends happy to have someone so handy around" that's usually a good way of finding out without directly asking

OP posts:
Whsthappensnow · 14/01/2024 19:21

That's a good plan. I was in the hairdressers the other day and there was an elderly lady talking about how charming he is and that he'd done a lot of odd jobs for her and it made me think perhaps he's just a nice bloke and I'm not special!

Good luck with it though!

In my case I'm fed up with being single and really don't want to go down the online dating route. I think there's big advantages to finding someone local!

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 19:26

Ialwaystry · 14/01/2024 19:14

Seems to me that he just had the chocs (maybes gifted to him) and felt guilty he hadn't sent a card.
Right person at the right time but hey... Its broke the ice.

That's what I thought he probably forgot he had sent everyone including me a card especially if he was busy with work and travelling

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 14/01/2024 19:46

He's probably assuming that someone your age would not be interested. Do you live in your own place or with your parents?

AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 19:55

He's just being a sweet old man giving a kod some sweets.
Seriously, the age gap is ew.. things that were acceptable or passed are not always ok nowadays. Look how your parents age gap gave you such a Daddy issue.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 19:58

AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 19:55

He's just being a sweet old man giving a kod some sweets.
Seriously, the age gap is ew.. things that were acceptable or passed are not always ok nowadays. Look how your parents age gap gave you such a Daddy issue.

Edited

Rude for a start when I said my parents I meant my mom and stepdad my dad was the same age as my mom also none of my ex's have been more than 2 years older than me. I'd rather date someone 20 years older who's nice than a judgemental cow my age but guess that's just me

OP posts:
AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 20:01

We had an old man who used to always be prepared with sweets in his pocket for when he would see a kid in the neighbourhood. He was very popular bless his soul.
I have since heard of grandparents who always keep a sweety on them.. seems to be a common tactic to wim children's affection.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 20:01

Opentooffers · 14/01/2024 19:46

He's probably assuming that someone your age would not be interested. Do you live in your own place or with your parents?

It's my own place I live with my son and my dog even though I'm only 23 I work full time and pay for my own place for my little family. I did think that though! And he probably would be worried if call him a creep or something if he asked he out and I said no

OP posts:
AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 20:03

Ask him out, it might work out like it did your parents. Good luck x

EveryOtherNameTaken · 14/01/2024 20:16

He's not done anything wrong and she fancies him.

Just chat to him next time you see him.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 20:19

AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 20:01

We had an old man who used to always be prepared with sweets in his pocket for when he would see a kid in the neighbourhood. He was very popular bless his soul.
I have since heard of grandparents who always keep a sweety on them.. seems to be a common tactic to wim children's affection.

Right one I'm not a child I have my own house and a son and I work full time in a career that allows me to have the house and pay for my child to go to nursery/have a nanny. I don't know many children doing that do you?

I'm sorry that you must be so unhappy with your own life and aging you feel the need to put others done I hope you get the help you obviously need

OP posts:
Didimum · 14/01/2024 20:31

roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 20:19

Right one I'm not a child I have my own house and a son and I work full time in a career that allows me to have the house and pay for my child to go to nursery/have a nanny. I don't know many children doing that do you?

I'm sorry that you must be so unhappy with your own life and aging you feel the need to put others done I hope you get the help you obviously need

Show quote history

@AllThingsGreen may not have worded it in the best way, OP, but when you reach your later 30s and 40s, you most likely will find something very off with much older men who go for 20yr olds. It’s extremely rare to find a genuine man who does so, and knowing someone with an age gap relationship doesn’t change that.

I’m extremely happy with my life and ageing (mid 30s), but it’s simply something you see as you get older. Not one genuine, good guy that I know of would ever get involved with a young twenty-something.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 20:34

AllThingsGreen · 14/01/2024 20:03

Ask him out, it might work out like it did your parents. Good luck x

Thank you!

@Didimum I completely get her concern and yours it was more the way she worded it demeaning me calling telling me I have daddy issues and calling me a child that rubbed me up the wrong way

Don't get me wrong I'm not expecting the white picket fence and wedding dress if it was only a bit of fun I'd be happy

OP posts:
Forestspark · 14/01/2024 20:37

Hi OP. I think it was a lovely thing to do, regardless of the intention from his side, so shows he's a thoughtful person and someone who could be a lovely partner.

FWIW, my husband is 20 years older, we met when I was 25 (im now 37) and I had to be more forward than I would have been with someone my own age as I think a PP said, they just might not think you're interested!!

Go for it, keep being friendly and see where it goes!

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 14/01/2024 20:38

Forestspark · 14/01/2024 20:37

Hi OP. I think it was a lovely thing to do, regardless of the intention from his side, so shows he's a thoughtful person and someone who could be a lovely partner.

FWIW, my husband is 20 years older, we met when I was 25 (im now 37) and I had to be more forward than I would have been with someone my own age as I think a PP said, they just might not think you're interested!!

Go for it, keep being friendly and see where it goes!

Congratulations on your relationship and your right even if it was just to be nice it was a lovely thing for him to do

Yeah I've been thinking that like if he was my age he might just try it on and if he gets knocked back so what but he's probably worried I'm not interested or will think he's too old

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread