Wedding behaviour

[Whattodo1989]

I was at a wedding with my husband two weeks ago and he did some things which have been eating away at me since then. Firstly he mocked the way I speak in front of some acquaintances which made me feel so embarrassed. He danced next to me but wasn’t affectionate in any way and whenever we were walking anywhere he’d speed off in front leaving me trailing behind on my own. I feel so hurt. I mentioned it to him and he’s blamed it on drinking but I don’t think that’s any excuse really. He said sorry but also said I’m making too much of it. We’ve been together a long time and has done this in the past.

what a horrible man

this issue aside, what’s he like? what’s the marriage like?

Whose wedding was it?
Maybe he was feeling insecure and anxious and took it out on you - absolutely no excuse whatsoever, though!!
Being mocked under any circumstances is hurtful, as is him not being affectionate and seemingly not wanting to be with you.
Was there an old flame at the wedding who discombobulated him?
Is he usually a nice man?

It was an old friend’s wedding. Someone I haven’t seen in a long time. Husband knows friend and others from the group but not as well. There weren’t any old flames there.

He’s usually nice and holds my hand on walks but if he’s been drinking he seems less affectionate, is that odd?

Sometimes they let us down. Examples from my late OH;

• not wanting to go for a walk with me because I was just getting over abdominal surgery and was a bit tottery and bending over.
• not acknowledging in his speech my part in making it possible for him to retire at his early retirement (age 42) do - his mental health was poor and I had moved heaven and earth to make this happen for him - uprooting and downsizing, moving house, creating transport problems for children getting to school, upping my work hours and generally being a huge emotional support. Maybe I was hoping for too much.

He is gone now, and was a good husband in so many ways but for some reason these two things still rankle. It is hard when we feel they6 have let us down.

Before you get to another event, tell him not to behave badly in front of others.
I had to do this with my late husband and it partly worked.
At least it made things a bit easier and in the quiet of the car beforehand, he seemed to listen. 🙄

Should I excuse this behaviour and move on?

Excuse your husband of mocking you and deliberately humiliating you in front of other people? For doing this at all, ever?

Not a fucking chance. You should never have tolerated this.

Excuse him? Hmmmm, possibly not.
Just tuck it up your sleeve and add it to any other slights and issues occurring in the future.
When you have enough of them make a decision about your future then!
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

have you read the responses?

what happened when your husband “behaved badly” at parties?

It is never nice to be mocked at all. I'd talk to him about that.

However, I'm confused by these
He danced next to me but wasn’t affectionate in any way

I mean, it was a wedding. Presumably everyone was having a boogie. Many people would be dancing with friends, not even their husband.
I can't get worked up about this.

and whenever we were walking anywhere he’d speed off in front leaving me trailing behind on my own.

Where exactly were you going ? What weddings involve hikes ?
I mean, I wouldn't expect to be glued to my dh's side at a wedding all day anyway. If he wanders off, or if one of us moves rooms a bit quicker than the other, so what ? You just chat with people around you - "old friends" you say. If seeing "old friends" I'd want to spend more time catching up with them than being glued to the side of someone I see every day. That sounds nice.

I feel so hurt. I don't see why (about these 2 examples. The mocking is not good, obviously).

This is good advice thanks

No...you shouldn't tolerate nor put up with this...any longer.

Plus, he has a drinking problem.