Just wanted everyone’s general advice on this really. Me and DP (together 10 years, two DC) had a big argument the other day, he said he wanted to leave, we had a huge heart to heart and spoke honestly about issues we’d been having, he related him saying he wanted to leave back to being scared of becoming a couple like his parents’ toxic relationship (just for added info I wouldn’t say we have a toxic relationship at all but both of us can be very stubborn and that does lead to disagreements but we do resolve them, his dad was very controlling when he was younger and he’s scared of somehow becoming like him) apologised for saying he was leaving and for scaring me like that and I got some things off my chest that had been building up a bit too - and so were made up, fine and moving forward. I totally understand all of his reasoning and people do say things in the heat of the moment they don’t mean but I still feel shaken by him saying he was leaving. I think I need to just put it behind us and just keep looking forward and working on the things we’d talked about to make our relationship stronger but part of me is now feeling a bit weird about things? Like the argument has made me doubt our whole relationship, like is it even the relationship I thought we had? Are we actually not good for each other? I don’t want to split up at all, but at the same time are we just never going to be back to how we used to be? I do feel like in the past while (maybe a few months, maybe longer) even when we’re just easily getting along a lot of the teasing, banter, warmth has not been there, but maybe that can come back more with a bit more effort to sort of relax into the relationship again from us both? I feel like we’ve maybe been a bit stressed and on edge, there’s been a lot going on just with life stuff (kids, house, work etc). Sorry, I’m rambling - just any advice or input from anyone would help. Does this sound like normal ups and downs in a long term relationship?