DH called me someone else’s name

[Notanotherbloodynamechange1]

Not sure if I’m being suspicious for no reason

dh suffers with a sleep disorder whereby he often talks absolute nonsense and can be extremely violent whilst sleeping. He is on occasional medication prescribed by a hospital consultant for this. The issue is mostly surrounding his aggression and he doesn’t often “chit chat” if he does it’s normally something that’s blatantly untrue such as “there’s bombs going off in the garden” or “somebody is in the house”. He is “awake” during this as in eyes open etc.

last night he went to bed before me. I came up a few hours later and when I got in the bed he Grabs me starts kissing me and says “oh Charlotte Charlotte come here I hate that I have to change your name it really annoys me” He then proceeded to say something about Halloween.

surface level thoughts?

If u know he talks nonsense in these episodes, then why has this bothered you? Do u have suspicions he is being unfaithful?

As I said it’s always blatant nonsense. It’s never been a case of talking in a conversation or mentioning names

no I have no reason to suspect. He’s very very much not the type

I would ask him during the day who is Charlotte. Surely his reaction will tell you if there is anything to worry about.

ETA - there honestly is no type. I have known so many people think there is no way on earth their partner would cheat, and be absolutely devastated when they did

Could be something he watched on tv. Ask him who Charlotte is.

I used to know someone like this. He never made any sense either, I don’t think you need to worry about a ‘charlotte’ it’s just gibberish the same way ‘the bombs are going off’ is.
its probably something he saw on tv or read in the news stuck in his mind.

I’ve just asked him. He said he categorically knows nobody by that name. It’s hard to tell if he’s lying because he’s generally very emotionless (another thread)

I would not let it bother me. Once a previous partner called me his ex wife's name when we were kissing. He was horrified. I just laughed. He had been married over 20 years . It was bound to happen. Don't let the comment sour your day OP

I had an ex who had very colourful conversations in his sleep - including the use of random female names. It would have felt cruel or abusive somehow to laugh along at all the crackers things he would say, then hone in seriously on this one aspect.

You're being ridiculous.

Well I pull him up every time because it gets on my nerves tbh and I think he should take his medication regularly. Certainly not “cruel” “abusive” or “honing in”.

hes punched me before, dragged me by my hair across the room, went rummaging through a knife draw. He’s impossible to wake up. We have dc and I’m sick of it really. I know his condition isn’t his fault but he should take his medication religiously. But then when he does he cannot get out of bed if alone with dc (again, another thread)

DH and I have both 'dream cheated' on each other multiple times. We usually tell the other in the morning. We also dream about the other cheating on us. The amount of times I've woken up cross with DH about it. It doesn't mean anything. Neither DH or I are having an affair, except clearly sometimes when we're asleep.

Just talk to him.

Your latest post changes the focus entirely.

Re post one - I would say absolutely nothing to worry about. But the fact you are worried suggests you don't trust him. You have lots of evidence he talks rubbish but you think on this one occasion he's telling the truth.

Your more recent post about him choosing not to take his medication when he knows he's violent to you.... that would be leaving territory for me.

@Notanotherbloodynamechange1 - I agree he should take his medication. He’s a danger to you in that state. He’s already physically hurt you and there was a dreadful story some years ago of a man who strangled his wife to death in his sleep. Does your H fully understand how serious this situation is?

It’s a whole other thread and one I do keep meaning to begin. Not to derail here but I can’t trust him to get up with the kids when I’m away or at work. I’ve had to send a friend around before today to bang the door down and she could see through the letter box dc standing at the top of the stairs crying and he wouldn’t/couldn’t wake up.

I have posted about him before and he truly is great in all other ways, posters say I’d be crazy to ever think of leaving he sounds a gem etc etc. but I’ve never mentioned this sleep issue

Apologies, I was talking specifically about the other woman thing. Of course you shouldn't have to tolerate those other behaviours, especially if they are preventable.

How often are you working away from home? Obviously it's a worry if his drugs knock him out to the extent he can't take care of the children. However, if he isn't taking his drugs knowing all the time that that will make him violent towards you, that is completely unacceptable. The problem is that if you leave him and he has the children overnight then you know they are not safe.

So your choices are:

1. Give up/change work so that you can take sole responsibility for getting the children up every morning. And he can take his medication.

1. Put up with being beaten and terrorised by him so that he can get the kids up for school and you can work.

Neither situation is tenable. If he's dragged you across the room by your hair and started rummaging in knife drawers I don't know how you can ever feel safe with him. And what about the children? Or does he only ever direct this violence at you

Once an old boyfriend woke up in the night (well I thought he was awake but clearly still asleep) and tried to have sex with me thinking I was his bosses daughter 🤣. His boss was early 20s and single with no kids. The mind plays very strange tricks sometimes.