Am I selfish?

[Amiselfish9]

One of my best friends is celebrating her bday today. My partner had a procedure this AM and apparently needs to be supervised for 24 hours. Since the procedure we have gone to a restaurant and to Wickes. He’s been walking and is fine. Is it selfish for me to ask if I can go to the bday?

I don’t want him to think I’m selfish but honestly he’s ok and I was really looking forward to the night out. What would you do?

If he is supposed to have someone with him for 24 hours then I would rather stay in with him. Even if he feels fine I would just rather be with him.

I get that you were looking forward to a night out but nights out can be done any time. My priority would be my DH.

People can keel over without warning. How would you feel if that happened to him while you were out? Would you wish you'd stayed in with him?

I would stay with DH just in case.

I'd stay at home with my husband.

DP needs someone with him for 24 hours. You can only go to the birthday even if you find someone to stay with DP whilst you are out. However, if I were DP I’d be somewhat miffed that you wanted to go out today.

I'd go, he sounds completely fine.

My husband would always be my priority.

How on earth can you have the confidence to give this completely unfounded advice? We don't even know what he's had done, or why he needs someone with him.

@Amiselfish9

There are no rules about what is selfish and what isn't. Some might see your feelings as selfish, some might not. It doesn't matter. What your husband feels about it is what matters.

Why have you asked us and not him? How would we know?

I assume he's had a general anaesthetic.. op I had one recently and my husband went off to work the next day.

I was fine and had pottered around the shops.

Id go if I were you! When did he have the procedure? Yesterday I suspect?

Just re-read and it was this morning.. can a friend sit with him?

Take him with you?

No I wouldn't put a birthday before my DH

Is there someone who can go round and sit with DH while you are out? A parent, friend, sibling?

Probably a bit late in the day to ask now but you could have thought about this and organised something earlier......

You are necessarily being selfish, some people are just casual about these things - if I were your husband I’d tell you to go.

However, the responsible thing would be yi stay unless someone else can be with him

They always say this to my mum when she's had an anaesthetic, but she's very stubborn and always insists she doesn't want anyone staying with her as she'd rather rest and watch tv. She's in her 80s so as a compromise I get her to text me every half hour just to confirm she's feeling ok. We live close so I could get to her quickly.

Chances are your DH will be ok, but only you know whether he'd take it well if you were to ask to attend the birthday. Could you just go for an hour or two rather than making it a big night out?